Mutants of the Caribbean
by Anti-XYo
Summary: [Last Chapter Up!] Elizabeth Swann is Kitty, Will Turner is Lance, Captain Jack Sparrow is
1. Default Chapter

Mutants of the Caribbean  
  
Disclaimers:  
  
Original story by: Disney and Co.  
  
Characters by: Marvel  
  
Concept by: ProFool, Half'n'Half, and Jess Macphisto  
  
Dialogue rewritten by: ProFool  
  
Scene work by: ProFool and Half'n'Half  
  
Editing by: Jess Macphisto  
  
IMPORTANT: All additional information and answers to reviews will be posted at the bottom of each chapter.  
  
Just for fun here's that song everyone knows the chorus two:  
  
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.  
  
We pillage, we plunder, we rifle and loot,  
  
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.  
  
We kidnap and ravage, and don't give a hoot,  
  
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.  
  
  
  
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.  
  
We extort, we pilfer, we filch, and sack,   
  
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.  
  
Maraud and embezzle, and even high-jack,  
  
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.   
  
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.  
  
We kindle and char, inflame and ignite,   
  
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.  
  
We burn up the city, we're really a fright,   
  
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.  
  
We're rascals, scoundrels, villains, and knaves,   
  
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.  
  
We're devils, black sheep, really bad eggs,   
  
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.   
  
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.  
  
We're beggars and blighters, ne'er-do-well cads,   
  
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.  
  
Aye, but we're loved by our mommies and dads,   
  
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho. 


	2. An Entirely Proper Dream

Mutants of the Caribbean  
  
Scene one: An Entirely Proper Dream  
  
It was a chilly morning and the cold air caused a mist to form above the warm waters of the Caribbean. Through the mist a song started to filter softly, almost inaudibly at first, as it's source grew nearer the song became more prominent above the churning waters.   
  
"Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me. We pillage, we plunder, we rifle and loot, drink up, my brothers, yo ho."   
  
A large ship came gliding slowly, silently out of the mist. This was the H.M.S. Dauntless the pride of the X-Men's naval fleet.   
  
"We kidnap and ravage, and don't give a hoot, drink up, my brothers, yo ho."   
  
On the bow stood a young girl in a faded pink dress, her song was faint, almost whispered under her breath.   
  
"Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me. We extort, we pilfer, we filch, and sack, drink up—"   
  
With a gasp the song ended as the young girl, Miss Katherine 'Kitty' Pryde, turned to see who had grasped her shoulder. The man responsible, Mr. Logan, was a weather-worn sailor. Though he was short, it was obvious that this man could and had survived many fights against larger men.   
  
"Quiet, half-pint, cursed pirates sail these waters," Logan growled. "I can smell 'em."  
  
"Mr. Logan that is quite enough." Lieutenant Piotr 'Colossus' Rasputin said in a thick Russian accent as he approached the two on the bow.   
  
"Half-pint here was singin' about pirates, that's bad luck in this fog," Logan warned adding a certain edge to his voice. "Mark my words, bub."   
  
"Consider them marked," Colossus replied as he looked down at Logan.  
  
Logan turned and walked away, grumbling, "Yeah right, bub, it's bad luck to have a women on board too, even a half-pint."  
  
After Logan left Kitty piped up, "I think it would be, like, totally exciting to meet a pirate."  
  
Lieutenant Colossus glanced over at her. "You should think again, Miss Pryde. Vile and dissolute creatures, the lot of them. I intend to see to it that any man or mutant that sails under a pirate flag or wears a pirate brand gets what they deserve," he paused before continuing his short speech, "a short drop and a sudden stop."  
  
  
  
Confused the young Miss Pryde looked to Mr. Logan for a translation. Logan pretended to hang himself in response. Kitty gasped again. At this point an older man with a long blond wig and a wooden leg, known as Professor Charles Xavier, came up to the bow looking a bit worried.  
  
"Lieutenant Colossus, I appreciate your fervor, but I'm concerned about the effect this subject will have upon my daughter," Xavier protested.   
  
"My apologies, Professor," Lieutenant Colossus said bowing his head slightly.   
  
"Actually, I find it, like, totally fascinating," Kitty assured .   
  
"Yes..." the Professor sighed, "That's what concerns me..."  
  
Realizing that she would hear no more of pirates today, Kitty turned away to resume her post at the bow. Nothing but dark waters and a cold mist met her gaze at first, then slowly a young boy clinging to a piece of wreckage drifted into view.   
  
"Look, a boy!" She shouted more than a bit startled. "There's, like, a boy in the water!"  
  
Colossus ran over to Kitty and affirmed her accusations. "Man overboard! Fetch a hook! Haul him aboard." Almost as soon as he gave the order they were performed and the young boy was brought on to deck. Colossus checked the boys vitals: "He's still breathing."  
  
Meanwhile Logan was still gazing over the side of the ship. "Mary, mother of bub!" he exclaimed drawing everyone's attention back to the water.  
  
The remains of a large merchant ship pierce through the mist. It's haul has been set ablaze and the flames seem to dance in an almost unnatural way: they sway and weave though there is no wind.  
  
"What happened here?" Professor Xavier asked stunned.  
  
"Most likely the powder magazine. Merchant vessels run heavily armed," Colossus explained matter-of-factly.  
  
"A lot of good it did them. Everyone's thinkin' it; I'm just sayin' it, bub," Logan growled from his post catching the crews attention, then he said the word they all feared: "Pirates!"  
  
"There's no proof of that. It was probably just an accident," The Professor said trying to convince himself as well as the others.  
  
Colossus was more concerned about checking for more survivors, than figuring out who or what had caused the once proud ship to fall into such ruin. "Rouse the Captain immediately!" he ordered. "Heave to and take in sail -- launch the boats."  
  
While Colossus reclaimed control over the crew, Xavier made sure to keep Kitty and the young boy out of there way. "Katherine I want you to accompany the boy. He'll be in your charge." He stated as calmly as he could, "Take care of him."  
  
Kitty sat for a while just watching the boys unconscious form. Suddenly he woke up, catching Kitty by the wrist. Startled, she phased her wrist out of his grip. He looked awestruck for a moment at his hand, then he raised his eye to stare up at Kitty's.   
  
"It's okay, my name is Katherine Pryde," Kitty told him soothingly.  
  
"L-Lance Alvers," the young boy responded though no one had asked.   
  
"I'm watching over you, Lance," Kitty replied quietly as Lance slipped back into unconsciousness. As he did a gold medallion round his neck caught Kitty's eye. She stared down at it and a golden skull design stared back. "You're, like, a pirate," Kitty whispered in awe.  
  
"Has he said anything?" Colossus asked, coming up behind her abruptly.  
  
"His name is, like, Lance Alvers, that's all I found out," Kitty responded quickly hiding the medallion behind her back.  
  
"Take him below deck," Colossus told one of the crew as he went off to attend to other matters.  
  
After he'd gone Kitty brought the medallion out to examine more closely. She turned her back on the crew, looking out towards the ocean, so no one would notice her studying the medallion. It was then another ship caught her attention, it was large and dark she watched it attentively as it faded away into the mist silently as an unseen wind filled it's black sails.   
  
********************************************************************************  
  
Cast:  
  
Elizabeth Swann ~ Katherine "Kitty" Pryde  
  
Joshamee Gibbs ~ Logan  
  
Norrington ~ Piotr "Colossus" Rasputin  
  
Governor Weatherby Swann ~ Charles Xavier   
  
Will Turner ~ Lance Alvers  
  
Next Chapter: Beautiful Blade Deadly Dress  
  
Teaser: Can you believe we're gonna make you wait until Scene Three to tell you who's playing Jack? If you Review and guess who's playing Jack I'll send you a copy of your choice scenes Dialogue. Yup, you heard right guess who's playin' Jack, leave your answer and a way to contact you (Email or AIM will work) and I'll send you the rewritten dialogue of any scene you want. People associated with Anti-XYo can't play though, sorry HomeGrown. 


	3. Beautiful Blade Deadly Dress

Mutants of the Caribbean  
  
Scene Two: Beautiful Blade + Deadly Dress = One More Scene Until Captain Sparrow  
  
Kitty woke up from her dream with a start. She got out of bed, pulled open the drawer on her bedside dresser, and pulled up the bottom to reveal a secret hiding place and a gold medallion. She took out the medallion and ran her finger over the face of it, thinking. She stood up, clasped the medallion's chain around her neck, and looked in the mirror. Kitty jumped when someone knocked on her door.   
  
"Katherine? Are you alright?" Her father, Xavier, asked through the door.   
  
Kitty quickly hid the medallion in the front of her nightgown.   
  
"Yes, yes," She answered.   
  
Her father opened the door and walked into Kitty's room. A maid carrying a box, followed him.   
  
"Still in bed at this hour?" he asked, as he opened Kitty's window curtains. "It's a beautiful day, and I have a gift for you," he said taking the box from the mad and handing it to Kitty.   
  
Kitty took the box and opened it to reveal a beautiful dress.   
  
"Oh! Wow, it's beautiful! I, like, totally love new clothes!" Kitty squealed, taking the dress out of the box and holding it up.  
  
"Yes, I know," Xavier said, smiling at his daughter.   
  
"So, like, what's the occasion?" Kitty asked.   
  
"Does a father need an occasion to dote upon his daughter?" Xavier asked.   
  
Kitty giggled at this and ran behind her dressing curtain to put the dress on. The maids followed and began to help her into the dress.   
  
"Actually, I had hoped you might wear it for the ceremony today," Xavier said as he turned his attention away towards the window.   
  
"Like, what ceremony?" Kitty asked from behind the curtain.   
  
"Captain Colossus's promotion ceremony," Xavier said smiling.   
  
"Like, I so totally knew that!" Kitty yelled looking through the curtain with an angry face.   
  
"He's about the become Commodore Colossus, you know, he fancies you. Fine gentleman, don't you think?" Xavier asked his daughter hopefully.   
  
"It's difficult to say…" Kitty said trying not to breathe as the maids tied her corset.   
  
"That dress is the latest fashion in London." Xavier said changing the subject.   
  
"Like, I heard the air was smokey in London, but I, like, thought they could breathe…" Kitty choked.   
  
The maids pulled the corset as tight as they could and Kitty phased through it.   
  
"Oops…like, sorry!" She said as the maids retied the corset around her.   
  
Just then Hank, the butler, walked into the room.   
  
"Professor," he said, bowing, "you have a visitor."   
  
Xavier nodded to Hank and walked down stairs. He found Lance standing in the entryway.   
  
"Ah, Mr. Alvers, good to see you again," Xavier said smiling at the youth.   
  
"I have your order," Lance said, bowing.   
  
Then he opened the box on the table, took the sword out, and handed it to Xavier.   
  
"The blade is folded steal -- that's gold filigree laid into the handle."   
  
He took the sword back from Xavier and balanced it on his finger.   
  
"Perfectly balanced: the tang is nearly the full width of the blade."   
  
He flipped the sword around and handed it back to Xavier.   
  
"Impressive," Xavier said, as he took the sword from Lance. "And no doubt quite deadly. Commodore Colossus will be pleased indeed." He handed the sword back to Lance. "Of course you'll pass my compliments on to your Master Dukes."   
  
"Of course." Lance said, a slightly wounded look crossing his face as he took the sword from Xavier and put it back into its box. "A craftsman is always pleased to hear his work is appreciated."   
  
Just then Kitty came down the stairs in her new dress. Xavier turned and smiled at his daughter. Lance stared in dumbfounded awe.   
  
"Ah, Katherine, you look absolutely stunning." Xavier said.   
  
Kitty smiled and noticed Lance standing next to her father.   
  
"Lance! I, like, just had a dream about you last night!" she said excitedly.  
  
"About me?" Lance asked, shocked.   
  
"Katherine, is that entirely proper for you to ..." Xavier started.  
  
"About the day we met," Kitty said, completely ignoring her father. "Do you remember?"   
  
"How could I forget, Miss Katherine?" Lance asked.   
  
"Lance, like, how many times do I have to ask you to call me Kitty?" She asked.   
  
"Until the earth splits before me, Miss Katherine, as always." Lance answered politely.   
  
"There, see," Xavier said, as he walked between his daughter and Lance's gaze. "At least the boy has a sense of propriety," he said as he took Kitty's arm and led her towards the door. "Now, we really must be going." He turned to Lance and said, "Farewell."   
  
As Kitty walked out the door she gave Lance a rather upset look.   
  
"Good day, Mr. Alvers," she said coldly.   
  
Lance followed Kitty and Xavier out the door and watched them get into the carriage.   
  
"Good day.. Kitty." He said as he watched them ride off down the street.  
  
********************************************************************************  
  
Cast:  
  
Elizabeth Swann ~ Katherine "Kitty" Pryde  
  
Governor Weatherby Swann ~ Charles Xavier   
  
Will Turner ~ Lance Alvers  
  
Servant ~ Henry "Hank" McCoy  
  
Norrington ~ Piotr Rasputin (mentioned)  
  
Mr. Brown ~ Fred J. Dukes (mentioned)   
  
Next Chapter: The Truth About Mein Captain  
  
Teaser: Even the title of the next chapter lends no true hints to whom is playing Captain Jack Sparrow. No one guessed it! Now you'll all have to wait until the next chapter to find out! Oh, and also: at the bottom of the page there will be an explanation as to why we chose this particular character cause I know if I don't people will review and ask anyway. (A Note from the Editor: And if you do, they'll ask anyway!)  
  
Review responses:  
  
First off -- I can guarantee that this Fic will be finished as I already have all the dialogue rewritten. Right now me (ProFool) and Half'n'Half are switching off from chapter to chapter. I wrote scene one, she wrote this scene -- I get to write the next one! Then all scenes get sent to our wonderful editor Jess MacPhisto. So, even if two of us get killed or something there will still be one left, probably me cause I'm invincible like that. (Another note from the Editor: If ProFool dies, and there's only Half'n'Half left, then this fic -won't- get done, I'm sorry to say. I'm a huge procrastinator, and need things like Core, Remy!Sex and Art to get me to work.)  
  
On Remy - One of the main reasons we didn't cast him as Sparrow was cause: after the movie I went around asking people if they knew who Captain Jack reminded me of and everyone said Remy, and we always beg to be different. Besides we got him another part -- I wanna say a "better" part although some may disagree (Dear ProFool: LIKE ME! Love, your loving Editor, who works for art). He'll be showing up in Scene Six. Oh, it's fun stuff but my fav part for Remy is in scene fifteen. And unless I can come up with a new contest you Remy fans will just have to wait.  
  
On Pietro - I didn't expect to see so many Pietro votes. Unfortunately, we were in a sinister mood when it came to giving Pietro a part.. so he doesn't get to talk as much as I wanted him to, but we just thought the part we gave him was hilarious. He gets his own chapter, yup one whole chapter full of Pietro just to make up for the cruel joke we played on the little speed demon. (Editor: Mew!! Why wasn't I told of this?!)  
  
On Kurt - Actually we considered giving him Will's part, but Half'n'Half is a die hard Lancitty fan (Editor: AND she's stubborn). I think Lance fits the part better now that it's all said and done. Kurt gets to be in the next chapter though with Evan. So, Kurt fans wont have to wait half as long as Pietro and Remy fans.  
  
On a final note some of you may think it's hard not knowing who Jack is, but c'mon do you know how hard it is to not tell you! Jess MacPhisto and HomeGrown have been haunting the review page. I have to restrain myself from e-mailing the lot of you and saying Captain Jack Sparrow is being played by . . . So, Anyway let's see if I can come up with a new test for the reviewers. The prize remains the same, any winner gets their pick of one scenes rewritten dialogue.   
  
The Reviewers only test (as it shall now be called): How do you make my associate, Half'n'Half, do the "Happy Kitty Dance" ?  
  
Okay, that's all for now, if you just can't wait for the next Chap, try clickin' on our name at the top, Anti-XYo, cause we've got more stories and if you run outta stories then you can read the bio ~nuff said! --ProFool 


	4. The Truth About Mein Captain

Mutants of the Caribbean  
  
Scene Three: The Truth About Mein Captain  
  
It was a crisp morning in Port Royal. A steady breeze kept all sail full and set all flags billowing. The sun was shining down upon this day; the day of Commodore Colossus's promotion ceremony. No one would ever have picked today to be the day that a pirate would choose to invade Port Royal's pristine waters. The same promising breeze blew through a rogue pirate's dirty hair as he perched upon the mast of his small ship. His pale eyes shown bright from their darkened eyelids as they scanned the surrounding waters.   
  
Suddenly he realized that his vessel was taking on some of the surrounding waters. So he jumped down and began bailing out the liquid as fast as he could, but it was already obvious that it was a pointless effort. All the while the ship maintained a steady course for the docks, passing an out cropping of rocks. Three long deceased pirates hung there with an old sign which read: PIRATES YE BE WARNED. To this he removed his tri-point hat and gave up on saving the ship to resume his post on the mast.  
  
Several of Port Royal's resident fishermen stopped to watch the odd spectacle of the mutant and his sinking ship arriving at the dock. They watched as he lept from the mast to the dock with great ease and continue on his way as if this was an everyday occurrence.   
  
"Whoa? Hold up there, man," Forge, the Harbor Master, called. "It's a shilling to tie up your boats to the docks, man," he said gesturing towards the ships mast which was now leaning against the dock. "Isn't that a burn? And I'll need your name."  
  
"What d'ya say to three shillings and we forget the name, yo?" Captain Toad Tolensky asked as he tossed the three coins to Forge.   
  
"Far out man!" Forge answered grinning widely. "Welcome to Port Royal, Mr. Toynbee."  
  
As Toad rounded the corner of the dock his tongue shot out snatching the rest of Forge's money that had carelessly been left unguarded. Toad continued on his way a while before spotting the H.M.S. Interceptor. On closer inspection it was apparent that the Interceptor did have two guards -- no real threat -- but still they would have to be dealt with.  
  
"Zis dock ees off limits to civilians," Kurt Wagner stated as Toad approached.  
  
"Sorry, didn't know. If I see one, I'll tell you," Toad said trying to pass the two guards, they blocked him. "So, how come you two ain't at the big shindig up front?" he asked curiously.   
  
"Someone has to make sure zis dock stays off limits to civilians," Kurt replied plainly.  
  
"Yeah, sure, but a..." Toad said looking over Kurt's shoulder, "Why guard this ship when you got THAT ship?"  
  
Kurt followed Toad's gaze to the H.M.S. Dauntless. "Ja, za Dauntless ees ze power een zese vaters -- true -- but zere ees no ship that can match za Interceptor for speed," he claimed proudly.  
  
Toad nodded, but then he leaned in close drawing the other two in. "I've heard of one, yo? So fast, no one can catch it..." he said in a voice just above a whisper. "The Black Pearl."  
  
"Well, there's no -real- ship that can match the Interceptor," the other guard, Evan, said rolling his eyes slightly.  
  
Kurt looked at Evan oddly. "Za Black Pearl ees a real ship," he proclaimed.  
  
"No, dude, no it's not," Evan reiterated flatly.   
  
"Yes, eet ees, I've seen eet," Kurt protested.  
  
"You've seen it?" Evan asked incredulously.   
  
"Ja." Kurt nodded.  
  
"You haven't seen it, man," Evan said shaking his head.  
  
"Yes, I have!" Kurt half shouted.   
  
Evan paused for a moment, then proceeded to ask calmly, "You've seen a ship with black sails, that's crewed by the damned and captained by a mutant so evil that Hell spat him back out?"   
  
"Are you sure they weren't just a very dark shade of green?" Toad asked cutting in on their debate.  
  
Kurt looked at Toad oddly. "Nein," Kurt said in an admonishing tone.   
  
"Nine?" Evan asked rather perplexed.   
  
"But I have seen a ship vith black sails," Kurt said going back to their previous discussion.  
  
Toad took this opportunity to hop past them and onto the Interceptor, while the guards continued to argue.  
  
"Oh, and no ship that's not crewed by the damned and captained by a mutant so evil that Hell spat him back out could possibly have black sails and therefore couldn't possibly be any other ship than the Black Pearl. Is that what you're sayin' man?" Evan said frowning.  
  
"Nein." Kurt sighed conceding.   
  
"Like I said..." Evan said turning back to where Toad had just been. "There's no real ship that can match the Interceptor."  
  
Both the guards gave a start when they realized that Toad was no longer listening patiently. Instead they found him aboard the Interceptor studying the helm.   
  
"Hey! You! Get avay from zere," Kurt called out authoritatively.   
  
"You don't have permission to be aboard, there, dude," Evan added as they rushed onto the ship.  
  
Toad turned towards them and said in mock apology, "It's just such a pretty boat - ship."  
  
"Vhat's your name?" Kurt asked narrowing his eyes in suspicion.   
  
"Toynbee or..." Toad said without a second thought, "Mortimer, if you like."  
  
"What's your purpose in Port Royal, Mr. Toynbee?" Evan asked gruffly.   
  
"Ja, and no lies," Kurt added.  
  
Toad sighed in defeat, "Well, then, I confess, it is my intention to commandeer one of these fine ships, pick up a crew in Tortuga , raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my toady green guts out!"  
  
"I said no lies!" Kurt growled.   
  
"I think he's telling the truth," Evan said as a look of confusion played across his face.  
  
"If he vere telling za truth, he vouldn't have told us," Kurt pointed out to his fellow X-man.  
  
"Unless, of course, he knew you wouldn't believe the truth even if he told it to you," Toad interrupted.  
  
Meanwhile, high upon the battlement a newly promoted Commodore Colossus was trying to propose to his incipient wife Miss Pryde. Kitty, however, wasn't paying much attention to the Commodore. Her new dress complete with matching corset was still giving her trouble in the breathing department.  
  
"May I have a moment to say you look lovely today, Miss Kitty?" Colossus commented cordially, " My apologizes if I am forward, but I must speak..." He paused for a minute trying to think of how to continue, he turned his back to her. "This promotion means I can finally marry a fine woman and you have become a fine woman, Kitty."  
  
Kitty was gasping for air and clearly on the verge of fainting. " ...Like...Can't...Breathe..." With that said she fainted dead away and plummeted over the edge of the battlement.  
  
"Yes, I am a bit nervous myself," he sighed turning around. "Kitty?" he asked when he noticed her sudden disappearance, then he spotted the bubbles rising from the churning waters below, "Kitty!"  
  
Colossus ripped off his coat and hat as Lieutenant Scott Summers came running up, having seen Katherine fall from a ways off.  
  
"The rocks! Sir, it's a miracle she missed them!" Scott shouted stopping his Commodore from jumping to his almost certain death. In response Colossus activated his powers, his skin became metallic, so as no pathetic rock could stand between him and Kitty. "Sir, you'll sink!" Scott yelled once again preventing his Commodore from jumping. Colossus stood dumbfounded at this new revelation as Kitty sunk slowly to the depths.  
  
********************************************************************************   
  
Cast:   
  
Captain Jack Sparrow ~ Todd "Toad" Tolensky  
  
Harbor Master ~ Forge   
  
Murtogg ~ Kurt Wagner   
  
Mullroy ~ Evan Daniels   
  
Elizabeth Swann ~ Katherine "Kitty" Pryde  
  
Norrington ~ Piotr "Colossus" Rasputin  
  
Lt. Gillette ~ Scott Summers  
  
Next Chapter: No Good Deed  
  
Teaser: Dun Dun Dun! Cliff hanger err faller . . . who will save Kitty! Hmm, better question, how many of you haven't seen Pirates of the Caribbean? I'll bet very few.  
  
Reviewers only Test: This ones gonna be tough. It's from our editor Jess Macphisto, she wants people to try to guess what Pietro's gonna be.  
  
Review Responses: YOU CHOSE TOAD!?  
  
Yes and here's why . . . The second he started walking it reminded me of Toad, then there's the dark rings around the eyes (check Toad when he's in a battle) The general lack of cleanliness, the slight insanity. (They make it more prevalent in the X-Men: Evolution comics, yes they have those. Toad hi-jacked a bus . . .) Both are quite decidedly dishonest, (look at how he conned Kurt into helping him save Wanda in the "The Toad The Witch and The Wardrobe") but the real kicker was the savvy, yo?   
  
"I'm Captain Jack Sparrow, Savvy?" is now "I'm Captain Toad Tolensky, yo?"   
  
Editor's Note: You all are going to hate us when you see Pietro. *sobcry* 


	5. No Good Deed

Mutants of the Caribbean  
  
Scene Four: No Good Deed   
  
Todd was standing on the Interceptor talking with Evan and Kurt when he saw Kitty fall into the water.  
  
"So, which one of you X-Geeks is gonna save her?" Todd asked.   
  
"You did not just call us X-Geeks," Evan said, offended.   
  
"Vhat? I can't get my fur vet!" Kurt cried.   
  
Todd rolled his eyes. "Glory of the X-Geeks you are," he said, handing Kurt his gun and his hat. "Don't loose these!"   
  
  
  
He dove into the water and started swimming toward where Kitty lay.   
  
"Dude, he did not just call us X-Geeks again!" Even yelled.   
  
There was a loud boom and he wind suddenly changed direction.   
  
"Vhat vas zat?" Kurt asked.   
  
Todd swam up to Kitty, grabbed her, and started swimming for the surface. He realized her dress was to heavy so he ripped it off. When he got to the dock Kurt and Evan helped him pull Kitty up.   
  
"Not breathing!" Kurt cried as he lent over Kitty.   
  
"Move!" Todd yelled as he pulled out his knife and cut Kitty's corset off and handed it to Evan. Kitty immediately started coughing.   
  
"Never would have thought of that," Evan said in amazement.   
  
"Clearly you've never been to Singapore," Todd said. He then noticed the medallion around Kitty's neck. "Where did you get that?" he asked.   
  
Just then Piotr, Professor Xavier, and the rest of the X-Men ran up the dock. "On your feet!" Piotr yelled at Todd.   
  
Xavier ran up to Kitty and put his coat around her. "Katherine, are you alright?" he asked.   
  
"Cha, I'm, like, fine." Kitty said getting to her feet.   
  
Xavier noticed Evan holding Kitty's cut open corset and frowned. Evan dropped the corset and pointed at Todd. "Shoot him!" Xavier yelled, pointing at Todd.   
  
"Father!" Kitty yelled. "Commodore, are you really gonna, like, kill my rescuer?"   
  
"I believe thanks are in order, comrade," Piotr said, holding out his hand. Todd took it and Piotr pulled up his sleeve to reveal a "P" burned into Todd's skin. "I see you've had a brush with the Morlocks, aye, pirate?"   
  
Xavier smiled. "Hang him!"   
  
"Keep your guns on him, men. Lieutenant Summers, fetch some irons," Piotr ordered. He pulled Todd's sleeve up further to reveal a tattoo of a toad on a lily pad. "Toad Tolensky, isn't it?"   
  
"Captain Toad Tolensky." Todd said.   
  
"I don't see your ship," Piotr said looking around.   
  
"Actually, I'm in the market for one." Todd smiled.   
  
"He said he's come to commandeer one," Kurt said running between the group of people.   
  
"I told ya he was tellin' the truth, man!" Evan yelled at Kurt. "These are his, Sir," he handed Piotr Todd's gun and hat.   
  
Piotr looked at the things he'd been given. "No additional shots nor powdeer," he said holding up the gun. "A compass that does not point North," he mused pulling a compass out of Todd's hat. He laughed as he pulled the sword, which was attached the gun belt, out of it's sheath. "And I half expected it to be made of wood. Without a doubt, you are the worst pirate I have ever heard of."   
  
"But you have heard of me," Todd smiled. Piotr began to lead Todd off to the gallows.   
  
Kitty ran after him. "Commodore, he, like, saved my life!" Kitty yelled running between Lieutenant Summers's gun and Todd.   
  
"Careful Lieutenant," Piotr called to Scott.   
  
"Pirate or not this mutant saved my life!" Kitty said defending Todd.   
  
"No good deed can redeem someone of a lifetime of wickedness, Kitty," Piotr explained.   
  
"Enough to kill him, though," Todd said matter-o-factly.   
  
"Indeed," Piotr cut, giving the signal to the solders to clasp irons around Todd's hands and feet.   
  
"Finally!" Todd said triumphantly as he flung the iron chain around Kitty's neck. The solders aimed their guns at Todd and Kitty.   
  
"No, don't shoot!" Xavier yelled.   
  
"I knew you'd warm up to me!" Todd said with a savage grin. "My junkers and my hat," Todd demanded of Piotr. "Commodore!" he yelled when Piotr hesitated. Piotr handed the gun, sword, and hat to Kitty. "Kitty, is it?" Todd asked.   
  
"It's Miss Pryde to you," Kitty growled.   
  
"Well, Miss Pryde, if you would be so kind," Todd said.   
  
Kitty gave him an offended glare and began to put Todd's things back on him, rather roughly. "Easy on the good, valley," Todd said.   
  
"Y…you Toad!" Kitty yelled.   
  
"Sticks and stones, valley. I saved your life, you saved mine, we're even," Todd said to Kitty. He then turned to everyone else. "X-Geeks, valley, you will always remember this as the day you almost caught Captain Toad Tolensky!" With that Todd grabbed a rope and swung up onto the wood over the dock.   
  
"Now, will you shoot him?" Xavier yelled.   
  
"Open fire! Aim for his legs!" Piotr yelled at the solders. He turned to Scott. "Summers, Mr. Tolensky has a dawn appointment with the gallows…I would hate for him to miss it."   
  
Scott nodded and pointed to the upper part of the dock. "Search upstairs. Look lively, men!" he called.  
  
********************************************************************************  
  
Cast:  
  
Captain Jack Sparrow ~ Todd Tolensky  
  
Murtogg ~ Kurt Wagner   
  
Mullroy ~ Evan Daniels   
  
Elizabeth Swann ~ Katherine "Kitty" Pryde  
  
Norrington ~ Piotr Rasputin  
  
Governor Weatherby Swann ~ Charles Xavier   
  
Lt. Gillette ~ Scott Summers  
  
Next Chapter: Just Fight Don't Associate  
  
Teaser: *Swash swash buckle buckle* Ever wonder what a Brotherhood brawl looks like?   
  
Reviewers Only Test: No one got the last one about Pietro, you'll get to find out who he's playin' in scene seven. New Test, um, seeing as the name Pyro keeps poppin' up like dwarves: Why don't you all just tell me who you think he is. For a lil' variation we'll say the prize for this one is our cast list.  
  
Review Responses:  
  
Got some slight flames, nothin' to worry 'bout though. I just hope they keep on readin'. It's funny, I always thought I get flamed for something involving Remy. Meh, anyways, to all the revierwers who were less than happy with our castin' of Toad as Jack. (Even though I put up the reasons last time) We were going for funny, with similar characteristics. The whole dead sexy thing never came up until the reviewers mentioned it. Now they ask, HOW COULD YOU NOT TAKE INTO ACCOUNT HIS DEAD SEXYNESS!? The problem with trying to match a dead sexy man with another dead sexy man is that everyone has a different opinion of what dead sexy is, Yo?  
  
Or would you prefer: Savvy?  
  
A Note from the Editor: It's my fault for this chapter having been delayed. For this past three/four weeks, I have been going through some very rough times and I took my break. And now that I have, my feet are back under me and shall continue editing. The next chapter won't take so long, I promise. 


	6. Just Fight Don't Associate

Mutants of the Caribbean  
  
Scene Five: Just Fight Don't Associate   
  
Toad quickly ducked into a nearby shop as the X-Men ran past. Looking around he happily discovered it was a smithy that had just the tools he needed to break out of his irons. Toad set down his hat, grabbed a hammer and noticed Freddy Dukes asleep in the corner.   
  
Toad walked over to face the sleeping giant, hammer in hand. "Yo!" he shouted, to which he got no response -- no threat. He went back to the anvil and began beating his chains with the hammer.   
  
Several attempts later Toad realized no hammer was going to break his chains. More drastic measures were in order, so he wedged his chain in-between two large gears operated by a donkey. However the donkey wasn't to keen on operating the gears, until Toad kicked it. Finally the chains snapped, freeing Toad -- somewhat -- but before he could celebrate he heard someone opening the shop door. Toad hid himself just as Lance entered the smithy.  
  
"Right where I left you," Lance said to himself glancing over at Freddy. Then he spotted the hammer set on top of the anvil and Toad's hat. "Not where I left you," he mused. And then he reached for the hat. Toad stepped out of his hiding place and slapped Lance's hand away with the blunt side of his sword. "You're the one the X-Men are hunting -- the pirate."  
  
"Have I robbed you before?" Toad asked, looking Lance up and down.  
  
"I don't associate with pirates," Lance countered proudly.  
  
Toad nodded slightly. "Guess I'll be going then," he said turning for the door.   
  
Lance drew his sword. "You threatened Miss Katherine," Lance growled blocking Toad's escape.  
  
"How many names does that valley have?" Toad asked drawing his sword.   
  
The two circled round each other slowly. They crossed blades several times before Toad pulled away, neither of them had been harmed in anyway. "Ha!" Toad exclaimed in triumph. Lance looked at him confused before realizing that they'd switched sides during their scuffle. Toad lept off towards the door. Lance thought fast, right as Toad reached the door Lance threw his sword into the door, pinning it shut.  
  
Toad tried to pull the door open in vain. "Nice stunt," Toad sighed. "'Cept now you're between me and the exit again. And now you have no weapon." He smirked pointing his sword at Lance.   
  
"Wanna bet?" Lance growled creating a fissure in between him and Toad.  
  
"You're a mutant?" Toad asked jumping over the fissure in an attempt to exit through the back door.  
  
"I am!" Lance said knocking Toad off his feet with another tremor. "And I train with my powers three hours a day!" Lance shouted over at Toad as he grabbed another sword.   
  
"You need a girl, yo," Toad commented picking himself back off the ground. "Or maybe you've found one and the only way you can impress her is with your powers," he laughed, grinning as their swords clashed.   
  
"I practice three hours a day, so when I meet a pirate, I can kill it!" Lance snarled sending more tremors through the ground setting both fighters off balance. They continued sword fighting under these conditions for a while before Toad got annoyed and lept up into the rafters. Lance fallowed by making the earth rise up right under his feet.   
  
At first Toad seemed to have the advantage while in the rafters, he lept around Lance quite easily. Lance always found away to block Toad's escape route, however, and after a particularly quick attack, Lance knocked Toad's sword to the ground.   
  
Toad lept down in one last attempt at escape, but Lance jumped down right between him and the door. Toad scowled then spit slime right into Lance's face. As Lance wiped the slime out of his eyes Toad drew his gun and took aim.   
  
"You cheated!" Lance cried as soon as he could see Toad's new choice of weaponry.   
  
"Pirate!" Toad reminded him, behind him the X-Men began trying to break down the door. "Move," he ordered.  
  
"No," Lance said defiantly.  
  
"Please, move!" Toad pleaded.  
  
"No! I'm not gonna just let you escape!" Lance exclaimed exasperated.  
  
"This shot is not meant for you, yo!" Toad said. Lance looked at him perplexed until Freddy smashed a bottle over Toad's head, knocking him unconscious.  
  
The X-Men broke the door down almost at the exact time Toad hit the ground. "Excellent work, Mr. Dukes. You have assisted in the capture of a dangerous mutant," Commodore Colossus commented as the rest of the X-Men surrounded Toad's still form.   
  
"Just doing my civic duty, Sir," Freddy replied, Lance rolled his eyes once again receiving no credit for his actions.  
  
"I trust you will always remember this as the day that Captain Toad Tolensky almost escaped," Colossus quipped. "Take him away."  
  
********************************************************************************  
  
Cast:   
  
Captain Jack Sparrow ~ Todd Tolensky  
  
Mr. Brown ~ Fred J. Dukes  
  
Will Turner ~ Lance Alvers  
  
Norrington ~ Piotr Rasputin  
  
Next Chapter: Fire Explosions And Other Hot Things  
  
Teaser: Enter the Cursed Crew! Un Dun Dun. Oh look it's all the people that arn't Jack!   
  
Reviewers Only Test: Latin_Mutant got it first shot on Pyro. New question: How did Captain Jack Sparrow break his manacles in the original screenplay (keep in mind it's not the script)? Merg, anyone crazy as me deserves to pick if they want a scene dialogue or a cast listing. Cause only people crazy enough to find a screenplay to double check the Dialogue and Blocking would know this.  
  
Review Responses:  
  
We got accused of story theft, Gasp and Shutter, actually no one here knew about any X-Men/Pirates parodies, we thought we were being original. Even after Fire_Raven3 told us we had a heck of a time finding that story. We wouldn't have found it, then Aslyin told us it was under a different name, Fire Raven and Aslyin. It's called X-Men of the Caribbean, besides the Lance Kitty pairing the two seem pretty different. Hey look free advertisement!  
  
So, anyway it was all just a major coincidence cause we started planning our story a long time ago, as in I was working on casting while watching the movie. Like I said saw Sparrow thought Todd. You should have seen me in the Tomb Raider Movie, I didn't wanna see it and HomeGrown made me go... I should never be allowed to see movies with aborigines that have funny hair sticks. It was more like they threw us out of the box for our thinking. ~ProFool 


	7. Fire Explosions And Other Hot Things

Mutants of the Caribbean  
  
Scene Six: Fire Explosions And Other Hot Things  
  
Todd was taken to the fort's jail and thrown unceremoniously into a cell. The Pirates in the cell next to him were trying to get the keys to their cell door.   
  
"Come here, boy. Want a nice juicy bone? Come here, come on!" Cain called to a scraggily dog that was holding the cell keys. The dog didn't pay attention to Cain's calls.  
  
"That dog is never gonna move, yo," Todd laughed.   
  
"Excuse me, but I have not resigned myself to the gallows!" Omega yelled at Todd.   
  
Todd laughed and leaned against the wall of his cell to take a nap.   
  
* * * * * * *   
  
Back at Professor Xavier's house Kitty was getting into bed. "There you go, Miss," Amara said as she put a hot pan under Kitty's covers. "You sure had a rough day!"   
  
"I, like, figured Piotr would propose, but I'm so totally not ready for it," Kitty said, putting down the book she was reading.   
  
"I meant the pirate, it gives me shivers just thinking about it!" Amara said.   
  
"Yeah, it was, like, terrifying.." Kitty said, not sounding like she meant it.   
  
"But the commodore proposed. I know I'd say yes, if that were me that is," Amara thought out loud.   
  
"He's, like, what every woman should dream of marrying," Kitty said.   
  
"But... Lance Alvers is hot!" Amara giggled.   
  
  
  
"Amara!" Kitty yelled. The two giggled and Amara left Kitty to read her book in peace.   
  
* * * * * * *  
  
Xavier and Piotr walked along the wall of the fort together. "Has my daughter given you an answer yet?" Xavier asked.   
  
"No, she has not," Piotr said.   
  
"Well, she has had a very trying day." Xavier comforted him. He looked out at the dark clouds over the ocean. "Ghastly weather, don't you think?"   
  
"Very bleak," Piotr agreed. There was an odd sound that came from a dark object in the harbor.   
  
"What's that?" Xavier asked.   
  
Piotr pushed the Professor to the ground just in time to avoid being hit by the cannonball. "Cannons!" Piotr cried. "Return fire!"   
  
* * * * * * *   
  
From his prison cell, Todd stood up in excitement when he heard the cannon fire. "I know those guns!" He smiled as he looked out his barred window at the harbor. "It's the Pearl..." he purred affectionatly.  
  
"The Black Pearl, huh?" Cain asked. "I've heard stories. She's been preying in ships and settlements for ten years now. Never leaves any survivors."   
  
Todd laughed, "No survivors? Then where all those stories come from, yo?"   
  
* * * * * * *   
  
Back at Professor Xavier's mansion Kitty heard a knock at the door and ran through the hall that led to the stairs. As she looked down she saw Hank, her butler, going to answer the door. "No!" she screamed. But her yelling didn't help.   
  
As soon as the butler opened the door a bullet shot through his head and he fell to the floor. Kitty screamed and two of the pirates that were now running in noticed her at the top of the stairs.   
  
"Hello, mon ami. Up dere!" Remy called.   
  
"Sheila!" John yelled when he saw who Remy was talking to.   
  
Kitty ran down the hall to her room and ran into Amara. "Miss Pryde, they've come to kidnap you!" Amara yelled.   
  
"Like, no way?" Kitty yelled back.   
  
"You're the Professor's daughter!" Amara answered.   
  
Kitty gasped and grabbed Amara's shoulders. "Like, they haven't seen you yet. Hide and the first chance you get, run to the fort." Amara nodded and ran off.   
  
Kitty ran the other way and found John standing in her doorway. She screamed and ran. As she passed her bed she grabbed her hot pan and waited for John to run by.   
  
"Gotcha!" John yelled as he ran by and grabbed Kitty's arm. When he did she pulled the lever and dumped hot coals onto John's face. "Crikey, that's hot!" He paused, grinning. "I like it!"   
  
Kitty screamed and ran into the dinning room. She grabbed candelabra to bar the door and tried to get a decorative sword off of the wall. Much to her disappointment she found that sword wouldn't come off of the shield it was mounted to, so she ran and hid in a closet.   
  
Remy and John knocked the door open and started looking around the room for Kitty. "Com'on!" Remy called. "Remy know yo're here, Chere."   
  
"Chere!" John repeated as he laughed.   
  
"Come out. Remy promise 'e don' wanna hurt yo'. We will find yo', Chere. Dey gold calls to us." Kitty looked down at the gold medallion around her neck.   
  
"Gold calls..." John repeated.   
  
Remy looked down at the rug in front of the closet door, that was folded over. He walked toward the closet and looked through the crack. "Hello, Chere." He said, as he pulled the closet door open.   
  
"Parley!" Kitty squeaked when the door opened.   
  
"What?" John asked.   
  
"I invoke the right of Parley. According to the code of the Brotherhood of Mutants, set down by the Pirates En Sabah Nuhr and Nathaniel Essex, you have to, like, take me to see your Captain." Kitty explained.   
  
"Remy knows dey code," Remy growled.   
  
"Then you know you, like, can't hurt me until the Parley is complete," Kitty cried.   
  
"Burn the code, mate!" John yelled in rebellion.   
  
"She wan' to go to mon Capitaine, den Chere will go to mon Capitaine," Remy said, smiling at Kitty. Kitty shivered as she was led away by Remy and John.   
  
* * * * * * *   
  
Out on the streets Lance was trying to help fight the pirates that had stormed the port. One pirate cornered Lance against the window of a shop. He held his sword against Lance's neck. "Say goodbye, laddie!" Legion, the pirate, yelled.   
  
Just then a cannon shot through the top of the shop and knocked the sign loose. The sign fell and knocked Legion out. Lance stepped aside and smiled. "Goodbye."   
  
As Remy led Kitty through the streets she stopped. "Com'on!" Remy yelled.   
  
"Lance!" Kitty called out as she noticed Lance fighting in the street. Lance looked up and saw Kitty being led away by the pirates. "Kitty!"   
  
Tabby, the pirate, walked up and knocked Lance uncoscious. "Outta my way, scum!"   
  
********************************************************************************  
  
Cast:  
  
Captain Jack Sparrow ~ Todd Tolensky  
  
Guard Dog ~ Rahne Sinclair  
  
Prisoner 1 ~ Cain "Juggernaut" Marko  
  
Prisoner 2 ~ Arkady "Omega Red" Rossovich   
  
Elizabeth Swann ~ Katherine "Kitty" Pryde  
  
Estrella ~ Amara Aquilla  
  
Governor Weatherby Swann ~ Charles Xavier  
  
Norrington ~ Piotr Rasputin  
  
Servant ~ Henry "Hank" McCoy  
  
Pintel ~ Remy Lebeau  
  
Ragetti "the one-eyed pirate" ~ St. John Allerdyce  
  
Will Turner ~ Lance Alvers  
  
Grapple ~ David Haller   
  
Jacoby ~ Tabitha Smith  
  
Next Chapter: Like Parley  
  
Teaser: Welcome to the Black Pearl...You must be this tall to ride.  
  
Reviewers Only Test: I'm probably the one of the few that know this, but in the original screen play Jack was supposed to place the chain in the embers of the furnace making them easier to break with a hammer. The screen play also wanted to show that his wrists were badly blistered and burned, but this is a Disney movie so they decided to burn the donkey instead.  
  
In short, no one got the last test. Next up: What does Kitty write on the back of Scott's head in "The Siren Stylists" First one to answer correctly wins. Prize same as last chapter.  
  
Review Responses:  
  
Rogue and Wanda will be making a brief appearance, there just arn't that many female parts. You like powers wait until the boat fights.   
  
Now, I'm off to write the next chapter...it has Pietro, I cast him, so ChaosTheory89 shall have to kill me... Half'n'Half and Jess Macphisto will have to finish without me.  
  
~ soon to be: The Late ProFool   
  
Note from Jess: Mmm... Legion. 


	8. Like Parley

Mutants of the Caribbean  
  
Scene Seven: Like Parley  
  
As the battle continued to rage outside all the prison inmates could do was watch through the barred windows of their cells. Suddenly a stray cannonball came hurtling directly towards the jail, and all the prisoners quickly ducked as it hit making a gaping hole in the cell that contained every prisoner except Toad.  
  
"My sympathies, comrade. You have no luck at all," Omega Red offered to Toad before escaping with the others.  
  
Toad sighed settling back down in his cell. Then he picked up a large bone and decided to try and tempt the mutt with the keys. "Come on, doggy. It's just you an' me now. It's just you and ol' Todd, come on!" he urged the dog as it crept slowly from its hiding place. "Come on, good boy."   
  
Right before Toad's very eye's the dog transformed into a young girl, who giggled and scampered off with the keys. "Whoa, now that is just freaky. No, no, no, no, no, I didn't mean it. I didn't..." Toad shouted after her realizing that she'd taken the cell door keys with her.  
  
Before Toad could find a way to convince Rahne to bring back the keys, a couple of pirates broke down the jailhouse door.   
  
  
  
"This isn't the armory," Havok muttered out loud as he followed Mastermind in.   
  
"Well, well, well, look what we have here Havok - Captain Toad Tolensky." Mastermind laughed.  
  
"Dude, last time I saw you, you were totally stranded on some island. Looks like his fortunes haven't improved much, huh bro?" Havok pointed out as Toad just shook his head.  
  
"I'd be more worried about your own fortunes, yo. The deepest circle of hell is reserved for betrayers and mutineers," Toad reminded his old shipmates. Mastermind reached in between the bars grabbed Toad around the neck. In the moonlight his arm appeared to be nothing but bone. "So there is a curse," Toad choked. "That's interesting."  
  
"You know nothing of hell," Mastermind growled as he released Toad's throat.  
  
"Very interesting," Toad muttered to himself, as the pirates left to continue their search for the armory.  
  
********************************************************************************  
  
"Fresh meat?" Sabretooth asked as Remy and Pyro led Kitty aboard the Black Pearl.  
  
"Chere invoked the right of parley," Remy began explaining before Kitty cut in.   
  
"I'm here to, like, -" Kitty gasped as Sabretooth slapped her across the face.  
  
"Never say that word again," Sabretooth growled as he raised his clawed hand to strike her again. Kitty lay cringing expecting the hit, but much to her surprise Sabretooth was suddenly sent flying across the deck by an unseen force.  
  
"Never lay a hand on those under the protection of parley," Magneto proclaimed as he strode menacingly towards Kitty.  
  
"Aye, Sir," Sabretooth grumbled from the otherside of the deck.  
  
"My apologies, Miss..." Magneto said wanting to know her name.  
  
Kitty promptly stood up and said: "Captain Magneto, I'm, like, here to, like, demand your, like, stopping this, like, attack on, like, Port Royal."  
  
Magneto couldn't understand due to all the 'likes' Kitty inserted into her speech. "Pardon me, but what is it you want, exactly?" he asked.  
  
"I want you to, like, leave and never come back," Kitty simplified.  
  
"I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request." Magneto told her. Kitty looked confused. "It means, like, 'no'," he quipped.  
  
Kitty frowned deeply and walked over to the edge of the ship. She pulled the pirate medallion off her neck and held it above the dark waters that surrounded the Black Pearl. "I'll drop it," she threatened.  
  
Several of the pirates became nervous, but Magneto remained calm and aloof. "What does one piece of gold matter to us?" he asked seemingly unconcerned.   
  
"It's what you've been searching for. I recognized the ship from, like, eight years ago on the crossing from England," Kitty stated haughtily.   
  
"Did you now?" Magneto scoffed, showing only mild interest.   
  
  
  
"Fine, like, I suppose if it's, like, worthless then there's no point in me keeping it!" Kitty exclaimed angrily as she prepared to throw the medallion down to the depths. The crew gasped, but to their and Kitty's amazement a slender pirate with white hair had snatched the medallion out of her hand. Kitty gasped as Pietro sped over to Magneto and dropped the medallion in his hand.  
  
"Do you have a name, Missy?" Magneto tried again while examining the medallion.  
  
Kitty thought for a moment then responded. "...Alvers, Katherine Alvers. I'm a maid at the Professor's estate."  
  
"Miss Alvers...?" Magneto muttered as a smile crept over his dark features.   
  
"Avalanche," Remy whispered to Pyro. Pyro brightened as it became clear to him about whom they were talking about.   
  
"How did a maid like you come across a trinket like this? Family heirloom, perhaps?" Magneto asked continuing on with his interrogation.  
  
"I didn't, like, steal it if that's what you mean," Kitty growled angrily at the thought that of being accused by some bloody pirates.  
  
"Very well, we'll leave this port and never darken it's shores again," Magneto proclaimed, handing the medallion back to Pietro for safe keeping. The younger mutant sped off to hide the medallion before Kitty could even blink.  
  
"Promise?" Kitty asked becoming more unsure of her situation by the moment.  
  
Magneto turned away from her and began giving orders to the crew. "Still and stow the guns, signal the men, set the flags and make good to clear port."  
  
"Wait!" Kitty cried, "You have to, like, take me to shore. According to the code of the Brother— "  
  
Magneto turned around abruptly and cut her off. "Your return to shore was not a part of our negotiations nor our agreement so I must do nothing. Secondly, you have to be a part of the Brotherhood of Mutants, or the Acolytes, and you're not!"   
  
Before Kitty could protest further Remy and Pyro took her by the arms and dragged her away from Magneto. "Welcome to dey Black Pearl, Chere," Remy said with a sinister grin as they led her below deck.  
  
********************************************************************************  
  
Cast:   
  
Captain Jack Sparrow ~ Todd Tolensky  
  
Prisoner 2 ~ Arkady "Omega Red" Rossovich  
  
Guard Dog ~ Rahne Sinclair  
  
Twigg ~ Alex "Havok" Summers  
  
Koehler ~ Jason "Mastermind" Wyngarde   
  
Elizabeth Swann ~ Katherine "Kitty" Pryde  
  
Pintel ~ Remy Lebeau  
  
Ragetti ~ St. John Allerdyce  
  
Bo'sun ~ Victor "Sabretooth" Creed  
  
Barbossa ~ Eric Magnus Lensherr  
  
Jack (the monkey) ~ Pietro Maximoff  
  
Bootstrap Bill ~ Dominic Alvers  
  
Next Chapter: Random Acts Of Heroics  
  
Teaser: Kitty needs help from Lance. Lance needs help from Toad. Toad needs out of the cell.  
  
Reviewers Only Test: The last test we gave the prize to two people cause they obviously didn't copy each others reply. New test: Which X-men was recruited into the Brotherhood in 'Second Time Round'?   
  
Review Responses:   
  
Yes, it's true we made him the monkey and I laughed about it too! Most of Pietro's stuff is gonna be shown through actions, but he does have a couple lines and he get a scene all to himself.   
  
Keep on reviewin' and if you get bored between chapters go read some of our other junkers. If you like this one you'll probably get a kick out of 'Manipulating Evolution' by Half'n'Half. Just click on Anti-XYo at the top and check it out. 


	9. Random Acts Of Heroics

Mutants of the Caribbean  
  
Scene Eight: Random Acts Of Heroics  
  
Lance ran up the stairs to a platform where Piotr and his soldiers were looking over a map. "They've taken Kitty!" Lance yelled at them.   
  
"Mr. Wagner, remove this man," Piotr said ignoring Lance.   
  
"We have to hunt them down," Lance cried desperately. "We must save her!"   
  
Xavier turned around to look at Lance. "And where would we look? If you have any information about my daughter's current location, please, share it." Lance put his head down and shook his head, and Xavier went back to looking over maps with Piotr.   
  
"Zat Todd Tolensky -- he talked about za Black Pearl," Kurt chimed in, trying to be helpful.   
  
"It was more like he mentioned it," Evan added.   
  
"Ask him where it is!" Lance said jumping in front of the Professor. "Make a deal with him, he could lead us to it."   
  
"No…the pirates that invaded this fort left Tolensky in his cell -- they were not his comrades." Piotr turned away from Lance and looked at the maps. "Professor, we will establish their most likely course…"   
  
"That's not good enough!" Lance yelled.   
  
"Mr. Alvers, you are not of the X-Men, you are not a mutant, you are a blacksmith and this is not the time for rash actions." Piotr glared at Lance. "Do not make the mistake of thinking you are the only man who cares for Kitty." Lance glared back at Piotr, then walked away.  
  
XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX   
  
"Please…" Todd begged from his cell. Rahne just giggled as she turned back into a dog and scampered off with the keys. Todd glared after her then heard someone and decided to play dead in hopes they'd open his cell to check on him.  
  
Lance ran down the stairs to Todd's cell. "You, Tolensky!"  
  
Todd recognized Lance's voice and gave up the act. "S'up?"   
  
"Are you familiar with the Black Pearl?" Lance asked.   
  
"I've heard of it." Todd said sitting up.   
  
"Where does it make birth?" Lance asked.   
  
"Haven't you heard the stories, yo? Captain Magneto and his crew of mutants sailed from the dreaded Isla de Muerta. It's an island that can not be found unless you already know where it is." Todd smiled.   
  
"Well, the ships real, so the isle must be real too. Where is it?" Lance asked, getting a bit aggravated.   
  
"Why ask me, yo?" Todd asked.   
  
"Because you're a pirate," Lance said.   
  
  
  
"I thought you didn't associate with pirates?" Todd teased.   
  
"They took Miss. Pryde." Lance growled.   
  
"Well, if your gonna go play hero for Valley, then you're going alone, I see no profit for me," Todd said, lying back down.   
  
"I can get you outta here," Lance offered.   
  
Todd sat up again. "How? The key scampered off somewhere, yo?"   
  
"Have you forgotten my powers? I can bring this whole building down if I want," Lance explained.   
  
"What's your name?" Todd asked.   
  
"Lance Alvers."   
  
"No doubt short for Lancelot?" Todd asked. Lance nodded. "Good name, the bravest knight of the round table," Todd said thinking. "Your father named you I suppose?"   
  
"Yes."   
  
"Aha. Well, Mr. Alvers, I've changed my mind," Todd said standing up. "If you spring me from this cell, I swear on pain of death, I shall take you to the Black Pearl and your valley girl. Deal?"   
  
"Deal."   
  
"Great, now get me out, yo," Todd said.   
  
"Right, you might wanna stand back." Lance put his hands out and the prison started to shake, a minute later the door to Todd's cell fell. "Hurry, someone's bound to come 'round to investigate."   
  
Todd hopped off. "Not without my junkers, yo."   
  
********************************************************************************  
  
Cast:  
  
Captain Jack Sparrow ~ Todd Tolensky  
  
Guard Dog ~ Rahne Sinclair  
  
Norrington ~ Piotr Rasputin  
  
Governor Weatherby Swann ~ Charles Xavier   
  
Murtogg ~ Kurt Wagner   
  
Mullroy ~ Evan Daniels   
  
Will Turner ~ Lance Alvers  
  
Elizabeth Swann ~ Katherine "Kitty" Pryde  
  
Next Chapter: It's A Nautical Term   
  
Teaser: Commandeering, Commandeering, Over the ocean waves.  
  
The next Chapter will be up soon probably tomorrow! 


	10. It's A Nautical Term

Mutants of the Caribbean  
  
Scene Nine: It's A Nautical Term   
  
Lance and Toad had taken refuge under one of Port Royal's many docks. "So, we're gonna steal a ship?" Lance asked peering out at the H.M.S. Dauntless. "That ship?"  
  
Toad shook his head. "No, we're gonna commandeer that ship," he said pointing at the Interceptor which the X-Men were currently loading to chase the Black Pearl. "It's only stealing if we get caught, yo?" Toad explained. "Now then, this girl, how far are you willing to go to save her?" he asked.  
  
"I'd die for her," Lance said solemnly.   
  
"Okay, no worries, then," Toad quipped as he motioned for Lance to follow him. Toad hopped on top of the dock and made his way over to a small row boat. Lance looked at him questioningly as Toad turned the boat upside-down and jumped into the water.   
  
Lance looked confused, but after a moment he bent down to take off his boots only to have Toad drag him off the dock with his tongue. Then Toad shoved Lance underneath the capsized boat that was still filled with air.   
  
After a couple minutes the weight of their soaked clothing began to pull them and the air filled boat to the bottom where they started walking toward the H.M.S. Dauntless. "Your either insane or brilliant," Lance commented.   
  
"Or both," Toad said with a shrug. They soon reached the Dauntless and swam back up to the surface with the help of their air filled boat. Lance flipped the boat right-side-up and rowed it up along side of the Dauntless. Toad jumped up onto the deck and lowered a rope ladder down to Lance. "Everyone, please, remain calm and exit the ship in a orderly fashion," Toad commanded the small group of X-Men that were currently aboard the ship. The sailors responded by staring at Toad as if he were crazy.  
  
Then Lance jumped on board and shouted, "Lets Rock!" Which caused all the X-Men to chuckle slightly.   
  
"There's no way two delinquents could get this ship out of the bay," Lieutenant Scott laughed.   
  
Toad sighed and rolled his eyes before drawing his gun. "I'm Captain Toad Tolensky, yo?"  
  
Toad continued to hold a gun to Lieutenant Scott's head, until all of the X-Men aboard the Dauntless had filed onto one of its lifeboats. Then Toad kicked Scott down to them and went to help Lance rig the ship. "Sir, they've taken the Dauntless! Tolensky and Alvers, they've taken the Dauntless!" Scott yelled to Commodore Colossus, who was aboard the H.M.S. Interceptor.  
  
The Commodore heard his Lieutenant's warning and ordered his crew to steer the Interceptor over to the Dauntless and reclaim the ship. "He is the worst pirate I have ever lain eyes upon," Colossus muttered to Officer Bobby.   
  
When the X-Men reached the Dauntless Toad and Lance were nowhere to be seen. "Search every cabin, every hold, down to the bilges," Commodore Colossus ordered as they boarded the Dauntless. As soon as all of the X-Men were aboard the Dauntless Toad and Lance jumpped across to the Interceptor and set sail.   
  
"Commodore!" Toad called from the departing ship, causing Colossus to turn around and realize they had stolen the Interceptor. "Thanks, yo!" Toad laughed as he sailed the Interceptor out of Port Royal.  
  
"Set top sail, let us clean up this abomination," Colossus growled at his crew.  
  
"We wont be able to catch them," Bobby pointed out.  
  
"We don't need to catch them, just get them in range," Colossus told him angrily.  
  
"Run out the guns!" Bobby shouted to the crew, then he turned back to his Commodore. "Are we really going to fire on our own ship, Sir?" He asked skeptically.   
  
"I'd rather kill her than see her in his hands," Colossus proclaimed sternly.   
  
Bobby was about to question his Commodore further when he heard Officer Roberto yell, "The rudder chain has been disabled, Sir!" Just as the H.M.S. Dauntless crashed into the lifeboat Scott and his crew were in.   
  
"Abandon ship!" Scott screamed as his visor was knocked off and he blasted one of the masts down. Commodore Colossus managed to transform into metal and catch it before it could crush anyone.  
  
"That has got to be the best pirate I've ever seen," Bobby whispered awestruck.   
  
"So it would seem," Colossus muttered angrily glaring at the speck on the horizon that was his Interceptor.  
  
********************************************************************************  
  
Cast:  
  
Commodore Norrington ~ Piotr "Colossus" Rasputin  
  
Will Turner ~ Lance Alvers  
  
Captain Jack Sparrow ~ Todd "Toad" Tolensky  
  
Lt. Gillette ~ Scott Summers  
  
Navy Officer ~ Bobby Drake  
  
Sailor ~ Roberto daCosta   
  
Next Chapter: In Denial On The Ocean   
  
Teaser: Woot! Woot! We got the boat! We got the- wait, we got the boat now where are we going? 


	11. In Denial On The Ocean

Mutants of the Caribbean  
  
Scene Ten: In Denial On The Ocean   
  
The waves crashed with a steady beat upon the Interceptor's bow. Captain Toad Tolensky was at the helm keeping a sure course, while Lance managed the rigging. For a while neither one had spoken. Toad was mainly concentrating on the job at hand, but Lance's mind was troubled.  
  
"You know when I was younger, my mother had to raise me by herself. After she died, I came out here, looking for my father." Lance stated try to trick Toad into revealing what he knew about Lance's father.  
  
  
  
"That so, huh?" Toad asked seeing through Lance's attempt at being cunning.  
  
Toad's apparent lack of interest only served to make Lance angry. "My father, Dominic Alvers. It was only after you heard my name that you agreed to help me. I'm not stupid, Toad. You knew my father." Lance shouted accusingly getting almost no reaction from the Toad.   
  
"Yeah, I knew him. One of the few that knew him as Dominic Alvers, yo? Everyone else just called him Avalanche." Toad said at length.  
  
"Avalanche?" Lance asked with a look of confusion strewn across his face.  
  
"Good mutant, good pirate. I swear he had powers just like yours." Toad responded with a slight smirk.  
  
"It's not true!" Lance shouted as the waves turned choppy for a moment as if something had shaken the ocean bottom.   
  
"No, really, he shook the ground and everything." Toad explained as he managed the helm until the waves returned to their former tempo.   
  
"My father was not a pirate." Lance growled threateningly as he drew his sword.  
  
"How will my killing you prove he wasn't a pirate?" Toad asked with a bemused look on his face.  
  
"I would have killed you if you hadn't cheated." Lance declared sternly.   
  
Toad smiled. "No reason for me to fight fair then." With that said, he whipped out his tongue and caught Lance by the ankle. Then Toad swung Lance up into the rigging, so he was hanging face down by his knees.   
  
"Now as long as your just hangin', listen up. The only rules that really matter are: what a mutant can do and what a human can't do. Now, no human has ever served under Captain Toad Tolensky. So, the question is, can you?" Toad asked of the rather stunned looking mutant, but Lance nodded solemnly enough as he sheathed his sword. "Good, now on to Tortuga." Toad proclaimed as he lowered Lance back down.  
  
As soon as Lance was back on the deck he asked the new thing on his mind straight out, "Tortuga?"   
  
********************************************************************************  
  
Cast:  
  
Will Turner ~ Lance Alvers  
  
Captain Jack Sparrow ~ Todd "Toad" Tolensky  
  
Bootstrap Bill ~ Dominic Alvers  
  
Next Chapter: The Return Of Pork-Breath  
  
Teaser: Only appearance of Rogue and Wanda! I swear there are not enough girl parts in Pirates of the Caribbean. 


	12. The Return Of PorkBreath

Mutants of the Caribbean  
  
Scene Eleven: The Return Of Pork-Breath  
  
"Tortuga . . . Actually, it's pretty sad that you've never been to Tortuga, yo? If every town was like Tortuga, no mutant would ever feel unwanted." Toad explained as he lead Lance away from the docks and further into the city. As they walked along, a fiery, young woman, sauntered up to Toad. "Sweet-Cheeks!" He shouted as he moved to embrace her, but she sent him flying with a hex bolt. "Don't think I deserved that." Toad mumbled as he hopped back to his feet and saw another lady approaching him. "Rogue!" Toads laughed.  
  
"Who was she?" Rogue asked accusingly before taking off her glove and slapping him. Lance just stood by and watched as Toad hit the ground unconscious. Rogue stood over him for a moment as if she was trying to remember something then a look of disgust crossed her face and she planted a solid kick on the still unconscious Toad before taking off and leaving Lance to wake him up.   
  
"Wha? I may have deserved that." Toad muttered as Lance shook him back to consciousness. Toad got back on his feet again and led Lance around Tortuga, until they found the mutant they were looking for asleep in a pigsty. Toad smirked and grabbed a bucket of water and motioned for Lance to do the same.   
  
"I'll rip your throat out, bub!" Logan snapped angrily as Toad poured the water over him. "Toad! You should know better than to wake a man when he's sleeping, Stink-Boy." Logan growled, though he seemed a little less angry after recognizing his attacker.  
  
"You're callin' me Stink-Boy, Pork-Breath?" Toad asked pointing out the fact Logan had been sleeping in a pigsty with pigs. Then Lance splashed Logan with the water in his bucket.   
  
"I was already awake!" Logan roared angrily.  
  
"That was for the smell." Lance explained with a sneer.   
  
Logan growled, but he let it slide. "So, what are ya after this time, bub?" Logan asked Toad as they headed off to The Faithful Bride.  
  
"The Black Pearl." Toad told him as soon as Lance was distracted by some of the local wildlife.   
  
"You're a real fool, you know that, Stink-Boy?" Logan grunted.  
  
"Listen, I know what he's up to . . . All I need is a crew." Toad explained, checking to make sure Lance wasn't listening in.  
  
"From what I hear Magnet-Butt doesn't take to kindly to fools." Logan warned Toad as he watched Storm saunter by.  
  
"Good thing I'm not a fool then, yo?" Toad said drawing Logan's attention back to the discussion at hand.  
  
"Prove me wrong, bub." Logan sighed, "What makes you think Magnet-Butt is gonna give you that ship?"   
  
"I gots something he wants, yo?" Toad muttered under his breath as he motioned to Lance.  
  
"That bub?" Logan asked with a cocked eyebrow.   
  
"That, bub, is the son of Avalanche Alvers. His only son, yo?" Toad stated confidently.   
  
"That so, bub? There's been a change in the wind. I'll sniff out a crew, there's bound to be some mutants on this rock as crazy as you." Logan said as a smirk crept onto his face.  
  
"One can only hope." Toad laughed as he raised his glass for a toast. " Take what you can. . . "   
  
". . .Give nothin' back." Logan finished as their glasses clinked.  
  
********************************************************************************  
  
Cast:  
  
Will Turner ~ Lance Alvers  
  
Captain Jack Sparrow ~ Todd "Toad" Tolensky  
  
Joshamee Gibbs ~ Logan  
  
Bootstrap Bill ~ Dominic Alvers  
  
Next Chapter: Admitting Your Cursed Is The First Step To Recovery   
  
Teaser: Hello, my name is Magneto. . . Hi, Magneto! . . .and I'm cursed. . . 


	13. Admitting You're Cursed Is The First Ste...

Mutants of the Caribbean  
  
Scene Twelve: Admitting Your Cursed Is the First Step to Recovery  
  
********************************************************************************  
  
  
  
Kitty looked around the room she had been locked into. She was just trying to figure out the best way out when the door opened and Remy and John walked in.  
  
  
  
"Yo'll be dinin' with mon Capitaine tonigh', Chere." Remy said as he held up a purple dress, "An' he requests yo' wear dis."  
  
  
  
Kitty grimaced at the site of the dress, she hated purple. "Like, tell the Captain that I'm, like, disinclined to aqueace to his request."  
  
  
  
Remy laughed, "Mon Capitaine said Chere may say dat." He looked at John and smiled, "Mon Capitaine also said data if data be dey case Chere'll be dinin' wit dey crew, an' yo'll be naked."  
  
Kitty scowled and grabbed the dress.  
  
  
  
Remy frowned, "Fine." He and John left Kitty to dress.  
  
XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX  
  
  
  
Kitty sat quietly at a table full of food. Eric smiled.  
  
  
  
"You must be hungry."  
  
  
  
Kitty started eating ravenously.  
  
  
  
"Try the wine," Eric said, handing Kitty a goblet.  
  
  
  
Kitty drank it.  
  
  
  
"And the apples?" He said, holding a tray of apples out to her, "One of those next."  
  
  
  
Kitty looked terrified, "It's poisoned!"  
  
  
  
Eric laughed, "There would be no sense in killing you, Miss Alvers."  
  
  
  
Kitty looked confused, "Then, like, release me, you hae your trinket; I'm no further value to you!"  
  
  
  
Eric held up the medallion, "You have no idea what this is, do you?"  
  
  
  
"It's, like, a pirate's medallion." Kitty answered.  
  
  
  
"It's one from a set of 882 pieces sealed in a stone chest, all of them cursed; so that any mortal who removes one from that chest shall be punished for all eternity." Eric explained.  
  
  
  
Kitty laughed, "I'm, like, too old to believe in ghost stories anymore, Captain Magneto."  
  
  
  
Eric nodded, "We thought the same thing when we first heard the tale. A chest full of gold buried on an island that can not be found, except by those who already know where it is." He sighed, "We found it. There was the chest, inside was the gold pieces and we took them all." He handed the gold piece to Pietro, who had been serving them, "We spent them on food and drink and other worldly things. The more we gave them the more we came to realize-that nothing would satisfy our hunger or quench our thirst. We are cursed men, Miss Alvers. Once we were compelled by greed, now we are consumed by it. There is only one way to end our curse. All the gold must be restored and the blood repaid. Thanks to you we have the final piece."  
  
  
  
Kitty's eyes were wide, "What about the blood repaid?" she hid a knife under her skirt.  
  
  
  
Eric smiled, "That's why there would be no sense in killing you…yet." He held an apple out to her, "Apple?"  
  
  
  
Kitty stood up and stabbed Eric. She gasped when he bled but didn't react to the stabbing.  
  
  
  
"I'm curious," Eric said, grabbing Kitty's wrist, "What were you planning on doing after you killed me?"   
  
  
  
"The moonlight reveals us for what we really are, not among the living nor the dead. For too long we have been dying of a thirst we cannot quench, we have been starving to death, but have not died. I feel nothing, not the wind on my face nor the spray of the sea. Not even the warmth of a woman's touch." He opened the door.  
  
  
  
Kitty looked around in shock at the crew, who were all skeletons.  
  
  
  
"You should best begin believing in ghost stories Miss Alvers; You're in one!" Eric growled as he stepped out of the door and into the moonlight. He suddenly changed into a rotted looking skeleton.  
  
  
  
Kitty screamed, phased through Eric's grasp, and ran inside.  
  
  
  
Eric and the crew laughed evilly. Eric stopped and frowned at the crew. "Back to work!" He yelled.   
  
********************************************************************************  
  
Cast:  
  
Elizabeth Swann ~ Katherine "Kitty" Pryde  
  
Barbossa ~ Eric Magnus Lensherr  
  
Jack (the monkey) ~ Pietro Maximoff  
  
Next Chapter: Wind In The Sails They Are Crazy  
  
Teaser: Toad's swarthy crew and *Gasp* one of them's not on Evo! Forgive me. 


	14. Wind In The Sails They Are Crazy

Mutants of the Caribbean  
  
Scene Thirteen: Wind In The Sails They Are Crazy  
  
"Well, what do you think, bub? Every mutant's worth their powers and crazy to boot." Logan boasted as he presented the crew he'd assembled for Toad.  
  
"This is your able-bodied crew?" Lance breathed, as he looked the ragtag group of mutants over skeptically.  
  
Toad acted as if he hadn't noticed Lance's tone. "You, there!" He called out to one of the slightly less freakish looking lads.  
  
"Ray Crisp, Sir." Logan inserted.  
  
Toad nodded. "Mr. Crisp, then. Are you brave enough to follow orders and stay true in the face of danger and almost certain death?" He asked expecting a loud, 'Yes Sir!' but none came. "Mr. Crisp?" Toad asked turning to look him in the eye, "Yo!" he shouted in a last ditch effort to get some response.  
  
Finally Logan spoke up for him, "He can't talk. The idiot pieced his tongue and let it get infected, so he trained Lockheed here to talk for him. No one's really sure how. . ." He trailed off.  
  
This wasn't what Toad wanted to hear, but he played along all the same. "Okay. . ." Toad sighed, "Lockheed. Same question."  
  
"Wind in the sails! Wind in the sails!" The small dragon croaked.  
  
Toad looked over at Logan in slight confusion. "We figure that means 'yes'." Logan explained.  
  
"Of course it does." Toad muttered more to himself than anyone else.   
  
"Well, you've proved they're insane." Lance jeered smugly.  
  
Toad was about to comment when another member of the crew spoke out. "And what do we get for accompanying you on this little cruise?" A mutant on the end purred in an almost sinister voice.   
  
Toad cocked an eyebrow as he recognized the voice from some where. Toad hopped up to the mutant and looked him over. He had never seen the guy in his life, but then the mutant shape shifted to a new blue form. "Mystique." Toad squeaked before she decked him one to send him sprawling across the dock.  
  
"I suppose you didn't deserve that one either?" Lance laughed as he helped Toad back on his feet.  
  
"No, that one I deserved." Toad muttered sheepishly as Mystique stormed over to him.  
  
"You stole my boat!" She roared angrily causing Toad to flinch slightly.  
  
"Commandeered. . . But I was gonna give it back. . ." Toad explained taking a couple steps back.   
  
"But you didn't!" Mystique growled aggressively as she stabbed at Toad's chest with her index finger.   
  
"You'll get another one." Toad promised as he teetered on the edge of the dock.  
  
"I will." Mystique hissed threateningly  
  
"A better one." Lance said with an amused smile strewn across his face.  
  
"A better one!" Toad repeated loudly gaining the rest of the crews attention.   
  
"That one." Lance told Mystique pointing out the Interceptor.  
  
"What one?" Toad asked as he turned around. "That one!?" He asked Lance earnestly after spotting the Interceptor. Lance nodded and Toad sighed, "That one."  
  
"It'll do." Mystique stated approvingly. At her words the rest of the crew began boarding the ship and readying it to set sail.  
  
"It's bad luck to bring a woman aboard, bub." Logan informed Toad as soon as he got a chance to pull the Captain aside from the others.  
  
"It'd be worse if we tried to leave her behind, yo?" Toad stated eyeing Mystique as though she might explode at any given moment. Logan still didn't seem to approve, but he boarded the boat and helped them set sail all the same.  
  
********************************************************************************  
  
Cast:   
  
Joshamee Gibbs ~ Logan  
  
Will Turner ~ Lance Alvers  
  
Captain Jack Sparrow ~ Todd "Toad" Tolensky  
  
Mr. Cotton ~ Ray Crisp   
  
Parrot ~ Lockheed  
  
Anamaria ~ Mystique   
  
Next Chapter: How'd Toad Get All That Junk  
  
Teaser: So, there he was stranded on this island, bub. 


	15. How's Toad Get All That Junk

Mutants of the Caribbean  
  
Scene Fourteen: How'd Toad Get All That Junk  
  
Lockheed sat perched on the mast of the Interceptor.  
  
  
  
"Dead men tell no tales." He crowed evilly.  
  
  
  
Logan looked over the side of the ship and shook his head.  
  
  
  
"Many men, and mutants for that matter, have been claimed by this passage."  
  
  
  
Lance shook his head and looked up where Toad was looking at his compass.  
  
  
  
"How'd Toad get that compass?" He asked.  
  
  
  
Logan looked over at Toad then gestured for Lance to move in closer.  
  
  
  
"Not a lot is known about the Toad, there, before he came to Tortuga wantin' to fetch the treasure of the Isla de Muerta." Logan whispered, "That was before I met Stink-Boy. Back when he was Captain of the Black Pearl."  
  
  
  
"What?" Lance asked, shocked, "He never even mentioned it."  
  
  
  
"Well," Logan continued, "The bub keeps quiet about a lot of stuff now. Stink-Boy learned that lesson the hard way. Ya see Rocky, three days out the first mate comes to him and says if everything'd gonna be an equal share then that should mean the location of the treasure, too. So, Stink-Boy gives up the bearings. That night there was a mutiny. They ditched Stink-Boy on an island to die but not before he'd gone mad from the heat."  
  
  
  
Lance looked back up at Toad, "So that's the reason for the…" He mimicked the way Toad walked.  
  
  
  
Logan shook his head.  
  
  
  
"Reason ain't got nothin to do with it, bub. When they marooned Stink-Boy on that island they gave him a pistol with a single shot. It won't help much in hunting or being rescued. But after three weeks of starvin' and dehydration that pistol starts to look real nice." Logan mimed pointing a gun to his head, "But Toad made it off that island and he's been savin' that one shot for his mutinous first mate."  
  
  
  
"Magneto." Lance filled in.  
  
  
  
"Yup." Logan nodded.  
  
  
  
"How'd he get off that island?" Lance asked.  
  
  
  
"He waded out to the shallows and waited for three days and three nights 'till the sea creatures stopped noticing him. Then on the fourth day he roped two sea turtles, harnessed them together and made a raft." Logan said.  
  
  
  
Lance raised his eye brow, "He roped a couple of sea turtles?"  
  
  
  
"Yup." Logan nodded.  
  
  
  
"What did he use for rope?" Lance asked, clearly not believing this tale.  
  
  
  
Logan opened his mouth, then closed it looking confused.  
  
  
  
"My tongue." Toad said walking up behind Lance and Logan, "Me and Lance are goin' ashore."  
  
  
  
He and Lance walked over to the row boat that was ready to be lowered into the water. Logan followed.  
  
  
  
"What if somethin' goes wrong?" Logan asked.   
  
  
  
"Stick to the code." Toad answered as he got into the small boat.  
  
  
  
"Right," Logan nodded, "The code." He watched the Captain and Lance row toward what Logan knew quite well could be their death.  
  
********************************************************************************  
  
Cast:  
  
Joshamee Gibbs ~ Logan  
  
Will Turner ~ Lance Alvers  
  
Captain Jack Sparrow ~ Todd "Toad" Tolensky  
  
Parrot ~ Lockheed  
  
Next Chapter: Cajuns Are French 


	16. Cajuns Are French

Mutants of the Caribbean  
  
Scene Fifteen: Cajuns Are French   
  
"Ten years of hoarding swag." Remy stated reflectively as he and John carried a large chest they had stolen, down the passages to the main treasure cave.  
  
  
  
"And now we'll finally get to spend it." John added with a smile as they dropped the chest. It opened on impact with the ground to reveal that it contained no treasure . . . instead it held many pretty dresses and a couple parasols. Remy slapped himself in the forehead. "Did you say swag or drag?" John asked as he picked up both the parasols and handed one to Remy.  
  
Remy took the parasol with a role of his inverted eyes. "Once we ditch dis curse we will be rich men, mon ami. And yo' can buy a flamethrower like yo' always wanted." Remy pointed out as he twirled the parasol around absentmindedly.  
  
"My lighter is startin' to run out of fuel." John said sadly, he pulled out his Zippo and flicked it on to show just how low the flame was.   
  
"Stop wastin' it." Remy warned John just as Sabertooth walked up to them with a slight growl to let them know he didn't approve of their slacking off. Both the younger mutants smiled up at Sabertooth and hurried back to work.   
  
XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX  
  
"What code does Logan stick to if something goes wrong?" Lance asked Toad in a hushed tone as they rowed silently into the cavern.  
  
Toad looked up at Lance. "The pirate's code. Anyone that falls behind gets left behind, yo?" He explained.  
  
Lance shrugged understandingly. "No heros amongst thieves, I guess." He muttered apathetically.  
  
Toad smiled in spite of Lance's apparent dislike for pirates. "For hatin' pirates so much you've almost become one, yo?" He told Lance receiving a very skeptical look. "You busted me outta jail, commandeered a ship from the X-men, sailed with a mutant crew outta Tortuga. . .and you're completely obsessed with treasure." Toad grinned as he watched Lance gaze out at the treasure that had been scattered throughout the passeges, knowing that it must only be the excess that had spilt over the years from many chest that had been carried through the winding tunnels.   
  
Lance snapped his head up at Toad's last comment. "I'm not obsessed with treasure." Lance growled as he and Toad dragged their rowboat ashore.   
  
"It's not all silver and gold, yo?" Toad explained as he leapt up onto a near by ledge and glanced down casually at his old crew and their captive below.   
  
Below, Magneto was making a speech. "Brothers, our time has come! Salvation is here! Our torment is at an end." He yelled out to his cheering crew.  
  
Lance climbed up onto the ledge next to Toad and followed his gaze. "Kitty . . ." he gasped.   
  
"For ten years we've been tested and tried and each mutant here has proven his worth a hundred times over and then a hundred times again! Our punishment was disproportionate to our crime, but now we have every last piece." Magneto said as he beckoned to a knife that seemed to rise on its own accord and float into Magneto's hand.  
  
"Toad!" Lance cried softly in a panicked tone as Pietro handed the golden coin to his father and Sabertooth began to escort Kitty to where Magneto was waiting.   
  
"Not yet." Toad told Lance with a slight frown, "We have to wait for the right moment."   
  
Lance turned toward Toad angrily. "When's that? I suppose when you'll get the most out of it?" He spat pessimistically as he tried to contain his frustration.  
  
"Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me? Just stay there. . .and try not to do anything stupid." Toad instructed Lance before turning to leave.  
  
"Sorry, Toad, but no ones going to use me." Lance growled as he focused his frustration on knocking loose some rocks from above. Toad barely had time to look back at Lance before one of the stones struck him on the head knocking the Captain unconscious.  
  
"Begun by blood, by blood undone!" Magneto proclaimed dramatically ending his speech. Kitty flinched as Master of Magnetism took her hand and made a small cut letting her blood flow into the chest of coins.  
  
Kitty opened one eye as if she expected her head to be removed from her body at any moment, then she realized he was done with her all ready. "Like, that's it?" She asked.  
  
"Like, waste not." Magneto quipped mockingly.  
  
Everyone waited for a moment as if they expected bright lights and loud theme music to signify the end to their curse. Then suddenly, nothing happened. "Did it work?" Mastermind asked.  
  
"I don't feel no different." John commented.   
  
Remy thought for a moment, then asked, "How do we tell?" Magneto answered his question by pulling out his gun and shooting a very shocked Remy.  
  
"You're not dead." Mastermind pointed out as Remy just stood there kinda stunned.   
  
"No." Remy stated blankly, then he seemed to regain his senses. "Yo' shot me!" He shouted as he pointed an accusing finger at Magneto.  
  
"It didn't work." Havok pouted, "Dude, we're still cursed!" He yelled angrily.  
  
Magneto rounded on Kitty looking her dead in the eyes. "What was your fathers name? Was your father Dominic Alvers?" He demanded, shaking her violently.  
  
"Who?" Was all Kitty managed to choke out, causing Magneto to release his grip.  
  
"Where's his child? The child that sailed from England eight years ago, the child that has Dominic Alvers blood flowing through his veins." He ranted. Kitty just shook her head in fear and confusion. This only served to make Magneto more hostile as he smacked her sending her toppling down to the waters edge.   
  
Sabertooth turned to glare at Remy and John. "You two brought us the wrong person!" He roared threateningly.   
  
"No. Chere had dey medallion, she be dey right age." Remy explained taking a step back from the large feral mutant.  
  
"The Sheila said her name was Alvers, you herd her." John yelled in his own defense. "Stupid blighter." He muttered to himself as he realized the gravity of the current situation.   
  
"You brought us here for nothin'." Havok yelled up at Magneto.  
  
"Shut up, Summers." Magneto commanded silencing the boy.  
  
Mastermind wasn't going to be scared as easily though. "Every decision you've made has led us from bad to worse." He stated knowing he'd receive backup from the rest of the crew.  
  
"Yo' sent Avalanche to dey depths!" Remy yelled angrily.  
  
"You brought us here in the first place." Sabertooth growled menacingly.   
  
Magneto frowned sternly as he used his powers to lift every weapon in the room and point it at his crew. "If any of you cowards dare to challenge me, let him speak!" Sabertooth growled lowly in response Magneto lifted the large mutant by the adamantium infused in his bones and flung him across the room to where some of the boats were kept.  
  
The rest of the crew stayed silent for a while and just stared at their feet, until Magneto felt he had made his point and set the weapons back down. "Slit her throat drain all her blood, just in case." Mastermind mumbled as he retrieved his own weaponry from the ground.  
  
Pietro paused fo a second at Mastermind's comment then he zipped around the room once to assure his suspicions were correct. "She's gone!" He shouted shrilly.  
  
"The medallion! She's taken it!" Magneto exclaimed as the rest of the crew looked on in shock. "Well, after her! You worthless fools." He ordered.  
  
His crew turned almost as one to run to the boats. Then Sabertooth stumbled back into the room. "The oars are gone!"   
  
Remy shoved Sabertooth aside to go investigate. The rest of the crew followed his lead though they weren't quite sure what they were looking for in the tunnels. "Yo' supposed to be dead!" Remy shouted as he spotted Toad just waking up from his little nap.   
  
"I'm not?" Toad asked groggily as he checked his pulse. "Cool, yo? Pestle, piously, paisley, Pauley, parsley, Parla, Parla. . ." He said shaking his head trying to remember the right word.   
  
"Parley?" John asked innocently.  
  
Toad smiled broadly. "Parley! That's it, yo? Parley! Parley!" He cheered.  
  
"Parley?" Remy growled aggressively as he glared at John, then he spat, "Down to dey depths wit whatever idgeot thought up parley."  
  
"That would be the French, yo?" Toad told his old Cajun friend with a slight smirk.  
  
********************************************************************************  
  
Now, go read the chapter's title again...  
  
Cast:  
  
Elizabeth Swann ~ Katherine "Kitty" Pryde  
  
Joshamee Gibbs ~ Logan  
  
Will Turner ~ Lance Alvers  
  
Captain Jack Sparrow ~ Todd "Toad" Tolensky  
  
Pintel ~ Remy Lebeau  
  
Ragetti ~ St. John Allerdyce  
  
Twigg ~ Alex Summers  
  
Koehler ~ Jason Wyngarde   
  
Bo'sun ~ Victor Creed  
  
Barbossa ~ Eric Magnus Lensherr  
  
Bootstrap Bill ~ Dominic Alvers  
  
Jack (the monkey) ~ Pietro Maximoff  
  
Next Chapter: Bloody Pirates 


	17. Bloody Pirates

Mutants of the Caribbean  
  
Scene 16: Bloody Pirates  
  
What Magneto and his crew hadn't seen while they were busy yelling about being cursed was who had taken Kitty away.  
  
Lance had swum up next to where Kitty lay and took her to a row boat. Then he gathered up all the oars and had Kitty dump them overboard as he rowed them back to the Interceptor. When Lance got her aboard the Interceptor she frowned.  
  
"Like, please, no more pirates!" She whined.  
  
Lance sighed and nodded at Logan who greeted them.  
  
  
  
"Welcome aboard Half-Pint." Logan grumbled.  
  
  
  
Kitty's eyes widened, "Mr. Logan? Like, no way!"  
  
  
  
Logan ignored Kitty and turned to Lance, with a worried look on his face.   
  
  
  
"Hey Rocky, where's Toad?" He asked.  
  
  
  
"He fell behind." Lance replied, grimly.   
  
  
  
Logan sighed, "Stick to the code." He told the crew.  
  
  
  
"Weigh the anchor!" Mystique yelled at the rest of the crew, "Hoist the sails! Move faster you slobs!"  
  
XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX  
  
  
  
Back inside the caves Magneto turned to Toad to ask a question that had been dying to get out.  
  
  
  
"How did a little slime-ball like you manage to get off that island?"  
  
  
  
Toad smiled, "You forgot one thing when you ditched me on that island, yo?"  
  
  
  
Magneto gave him a quizzical look.  
  
  
  
"I'm Captain Toad Tolensky."   
  
  
  
Magneto frowned, "I won't make that mistake twice." He turned to his crew, "Brothers, you all remember Captain Toad Tolensky? Kill him."  
  
  
  
As Magneto turned to walk away and the crew readied their weapons Toad thought quickly for one last life line.   
  
  
  
"Her blood didn't work, huh?" He asked.  
  
  
  
Magneto growled and turned back around.  
  
  
  
"Hold your fire!" He yelled to the crew before turning to Toad, "You know whose blood we need?"  
  
  
  
Toad smiled, "I know whose blood you need."  
  
XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX  
  
  
  
Kitty sat below deck talking with Lance and trying to wrap her injured wrist in a bandage.  
  
  
  
"What sort of person, like, trades someone's life for a ship?" Kitty asked, getting frustrated with the bandage.  
  
  
  
"A pirate." Lance answered, and then saw Kitty's trouble with the bandage, "Here, lemme help." He took her hand in his and started to rewrap her hand.  
  
  
  
"Like, thanks." Kitty whispered, moving closer to Lance.  
  
  
  
Lance turned, his eyes meeting Kitty's. He quickly turned his attention back to bandaging her hand.  
  
  
  
"Why did you tell Magneto your name was Alvers?" He asked, breaking the awkward silence.  
  
  
  
"Like, I dunno." Kitty answered. She jumped when Lance's rough hand rubbed against hers.  
  
  
  
"Sorry," Lance apologized, "Blacksmith hands, I know they're rough."  
  
  
  
Kitty looked at Lance, "No, like, I mean yes, like, they are but…." Lance returned her gaze and she blushed, "but don't stop."  
  
  
  
Lance moved his hand to pet Kitty's cheek, "Kitty…" His hand came to find a necklace chain. He pulled the medallion out from where Kitty had hidden it and stared.  
  
  
  
"It's yours." Kitty said noticing the way Lance was staring at the coin.  
  
  
  
"It was a gift from my father," Lance said, transfixed by the medallion, "I thought I'd lost it…" His gaze left the coin and met with Kitty's, "Why did you take it?"  
  
  
  
Kitty quickly looked away, "I thought you were, like, a pirate." She looked back at Lance, "That would have been, like, totally icksome."  
  
  
  
Lance looked away from Kitty, "They didn't need your blood….they needed Pirate's blood…my father…my blood…"  
  
  
  
Kitty took Lance's hand, "I'm sorry Lance…"  
  
XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX  
  
  
  
Back on the Black Pearl, Magneto looked at Toad with mild amusement on his face.  
  
  
  
"You expect me to sit on an island with nothing, but a name and your word that it's the one I need, and watch you sail away on my ship?"   
  
  
  
Toad shook his head, "No, I expect to leave you sitting on some island with nothin' while you watch me sail away on MY ship and then I'll shout the name back to you, yo?"  
  
  
  
"Still, you expect me to sit on an island with nothing, but a name and your word that it's the one I need?" Magneto rephrased.   
  
  
  
Toad eyed the apples on the table, "I'm the one that hasn't committed mutiny, so my words better 'en yours, yo?" He took a nice shiny apple, "Although, I should thank you for ditchin' me and takin' all the curse for yourself." He took a big bit of the apple, much to Magneto's disliking, "Funny lil' world isn'nit?"  
  
  
  
Erik growled but was interrupted by Creed walking in.  
  
  
  
"We've caught up to the Interceptor." He informed them.  
  
  
  
Magneto smiled, running out to the deck to see the ship for himself.   
  
  
  
Toad hopped after him and stuck his face in front of Magneto's telescope.  
  
  
  
"Hey, Magneto, I have a great idea."   
  
  
  
Magneto put his telescope down, annoyed.  
  
  
  
"You run up a truce flag and I'll hop over to the Interceptor and get your medallion back, huh?" Toad suggested.  
  
  
  
"That's the attitude that cost you the Pearl, Toad." He looked at the apple Toad still held and snatched it away, "People are easier to search when they're dead." He turned from Toad to his crew, "Lock him in the brig."   
  
  
  
As the crew dragged Toad away Erik looked sadly at the half eaten apple. Then finally giving into the fact that he couldn't taste it he threw it over board.  
  
********************************************************************************  
  
Cast:  
  
Elizabeth Swann ~ Katherine "Kitty" Pryde  
  
Joshamee Gibbs ~ Logan  
  
Will Turner ~ Lance Alvers  
  
Captain Jack Sparrow ~ Todd "Toad" Tolensky  
  
Bo'sun ~ Victor Creed  
  
Barbossa ~ Eric Magnus Lensherr  
  
Anamaria ~ Mystique   
  
Next Chapter: Fast Ships And Faster Monkeys 


	18. Fast Ships And Faster Monkeys

Mutants of the Caribbean  
  
Scene Seventeen: Fast Ships And Faster Monkeys  
  
"Let loose all the sails." Logan barked.  
  
"Like, what's happening?" Kitty asked noting a slight note of panic in Logan's voice and an added urgency in the crews movements as they set to their task.  
  
"The Black Pearl is gaining on us." Mystique informed the younger girl darkly.  
  
Kitty could see the Black Pearl now in the distance it seemed an eerie mist trailed it. "This is, like, the fastest ship in the Caribbean." She told herself for reassurance.  
  
"You can tell them that after they've caught us." Mystique growled as she gripped the helm like there was no tomorrow which in her mind there might just not be.  
  
Kitty looked around wildly trying to find some means of escape, then she spotted a reef conected to a small chain of islands. "Can't we, like, lose them amongst the reef?" She asked.  
  
"Ya might be on to somethin' there Half-Pint." Logan said rubbing his chin, he looked up at Mystique for her approval.   
  
"Lighten the ship, you laggards." Mystique yelled at the crew as they began throwing stuff overboard in an attempt to gain speed. It seemed their last hope would be to navigate through the reefs and make a flat run on the other side before the Black Pearl could follow them through.  
  
XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX  
  
Mean while below the deck of the Black Pearl Sabertooth had just thrown Toad into the brig. Toad frowned as he noticed the lower decks of his ship were slightly flooded. "You guys should really take better care of stuff that ain't yours, yo?" Sure enough he found a hole in the side of his ship big enough to put a hand through, but high enough up to only allow water to enter when the waves were choppy. For now it made for a good peephole to view the battle.  
  
Above him, Toad could hear Magneto giving orders, "Run out the guns! Prepare for battle! Raise the flag and run out the sweeps!" At his last command several sets of oars emerged from the side of the Black Pearl.  
  
XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX   
  
Back on the Interceptor Lance watched as the rowers pushed the Black Pearl forwards even faster. "We're gonna need that." Lance muttered referring to a cannon that one of his shipmates was about to throw over.  
  
"Remind me again why we were listening to her?" Mystique hissed as she realized their was no way they were going to make it to the reefs before the Black Pearl caught up with them.  
  
"They wanna fight," Logan growled. "we'll givem a fight. Load the cannons!"  
  
"With what?" Mystique asked angrily noting that all the cannonball's had been thrown overboard.   
  
"Anything we have left." Lance told them with a certain air of desperation in his voice.  
  
Logan just shook his head. "The Pearl will sink us without given us a target." He sighed resigning himself over to fate.  
  
"Like, lower the anchor on the right!" Kitty burst in, she paused for a moment while everyone stared. "Like, starboard sorry."  
  
"They'll be surprised, that's for sure." Lance said not really grasping what Kitty had planned, but he held faith in her.  
  
"You're a fool, girl." Mystique bellowed at Kitty, receiving a glare from Lance. "You both are." She admonished him.  
  
Logan's sullen gaze cracked into an almost insane smile. "Fools like Toad!" He shouted, "Lower the Starboard anchor!" The anchor man looked at Logan as if he were crazy, which was actually quite debatable at the moment. "Do it, bub, or we'll load you in the cannon!" Logan ordered and received no further questioning.   
  
"Let go!" Kitty cried out excitedly as the Interceptor's bow swung around cutting off the Black Pearl, so it had to pull hard to Port to prevent a head on collision.  
  
"Steady. . . Now!" Lance shouted as the two ships prepared to open fire.  
  
They could here Magneto give the command first on the Black Pearl, "Fire!" sending the first cannonballs across the Interceptor's deck.  
  
"Like, Fire!" Kitty half screamed as the crew began shooting off whatever items were still available.   
  
Several pieces of silverware blasted a hole in the side of the Black Pearl barely missing Toad. "Stop blowin' holes in my ship!" He yelled angrily before realizing that a large knife had cut through the brig's lock freeing him.  
  
XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX  
  
"We need another idea, Half-Pint." Logan shouted over the cannon fire.   
  
"Like, your turn." Kitty told him, completely out of ideas.  
  
"We'll give them her." Mystique insisted grabbing Kitty by the arm.  
  
"They're not after her." Lance informed Mystique through gritted teeth.  
  
"The medallion!" Kitty gasped, "It's still below deck." Lance nodded and took off to retrieve the medallion.  
  
XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX   
  
Meanwhile on the Black Pearl Toad had crept up onto the main deck where he could see Magneto still giving out orders. "Prepare for battle. Mastermind, Havok, mind the cannons. Pietro!"  
  
In a split second the lithe young mutant was at Magneto's side. "Yes, Captain."  
  
"Get me that medallion." Magneto instructed.   
  
Pietro gave a quick salute and then dashed across the deck. Toad watched him swing across onto the Interceptor and leapt after him, but when he landed he had lost sight of the speed demon.  
  
"Toad!" Logan exclaimed when he saw the young Captain was alive and well.   
  
"Where's the medallion?" Toad asked urgently.  
  
"Like, you hood!" Kitty yelled as she realized Toad was more concerned about that stupid scrap of metal that had gotten them all into this mess than his own crews well being. She attempted to slap him, but he caught her by the wrist with a sly smile.   
  
"And where is Avalanche?" Toad asked cooly as he released her from his grip.  
  
"Lance. . ." Kitty said almost as if she were waking up from a daze. A worried look crossed her face as she wondered why he wasn't back yet. Without any further thought she phased below deck to find Lance beaten, bound and gagged. "Lance!" She cried out as she removed his gag.  
  
"Look out!" Lance cried but it was too late. Quicksilver had snuck up behind her and knocked her unconscious. He reapplied Lance's gag then swung Kitty over his shoulder. Pietro paused for a second to dangle the medallion in front of Lance's face. "Oh, sorry, looks like my hands are full. Guess you'll just have to stay here and watch the ship sink. Once in a life time experience, you know, I hear it's to die for!" Pietro quipped before he zipped back to Magneto.  
  
"Quicksilver!" Toad yelled as he leapt out of the way of an oncoming cannonball. He jumped back onto the Black Pearl and landed right in front of Magneto.  
  
"Thank you." Magneto said admiring the medallion Pietro had just stolen.  
  
"Your welcome." Toad commented.   
  
"Not you," Magneto growled, "Pietro." He said motioning to the boy that was still holding Kitty's limp form. "Brothers, our hope is restored!" Magneto told his crew holding up the medallion for all to see. Toad saw that his entire new crew had been captured and would probably soon be killed. For the first time since he first lost the Black Pearl he felt foolish.  
  
********************************************************************************Cast:  
  
Elizabeth Swann ~ Katherine "Kitty" Pryde  
  
Joshamee Gibbs ~ Logan  
  
Will Turner ~ Lance Alvers  
  
Captain Jack Sparrow ~ Todd "Toad" Tolensky  
  
Bo'sun ~ Victor "Sabertooth" Creed  
  
Barbossa ~ Eric "Magneto" Lensherr  
  
Anamaria ~ Mystique   
  
Jack (the monkey) ~ Pietro Maximoff  
  
Next Chapter: I'm Crazy Your Stupid And He's Evil 


	19. I’m Crazy Your Stupid and He’s Evil

Mutants of the Caribbean  
  
Scene Eighteen: I'm Crazy Your Stupid and He's Evil   
  
The Interceptor crew and Kitty were all tied up and being held by Magneto's pirates.   
  
Remy walked around them smiling. "If any o' yo' so much as tink dey word parley," Remy growled, "Gambit will shove one o' dese cards down yo' throat, mon ami."   
  
The Toad's crew glared back at Remy but non of them spoke. They jumped as the Interceptor suddenly exploded. "Oops." Boom Boom laughed.   
  
"Lance…like, no!" Kitty screamed as she watched the flaming bits of the ship fall back into the ocean.   
  
Magneto laughed and walked up to Kitty, "Welcome back, Miss Alvers."   
  
Kitty glared at him, holding back tears.   
  
"Magneto!" Lance called as he jumped onto the deck.   
  
"Like, Lance!" Kitty exclaimed.   
  
Lance looked at Kitty and turned back to Magneto. "Let her go." He demanded, pointing Toad's old gun at Magneto.   
  
"Fool," Magneto laughed, "You've got one shot and we can't die."   
  
The pirates laughed and Toad shook his head. "Don't do anything stupid." He pleaded.   
  
Lance looked at Toad, then at Kitty, and back at Magneto. "You can't…but I can." He said, pointing the gun at his head.   
  
Toad sighed, "Like that."   
  
Magneto looked at Lance skeptically, "Who are you?"   
  
Toad jumped between Lance and Magneto before either could speak. "No one, just another crew member of mine," He leaned in closer to Magneto and whispered, "They're all crazy like me, yo?"   
  
Magneto pushed Toad aside and looked at Lance.   
  
"My name is Lance Alvers, son of Avalanche Alvers." Lance looked at Kitty, "His blood runs through my veins."   
  
The pirates and Toad's crew gasped.   
  
"Blimey, it's like ol' Avalanche himself's come back to haunt us!" Pyro exclaimed.   
  
"Do as I say or I'll pull this trigger and you'll be cured forever." Lance demanded.   
  
"Name your terms, Mr. Alvers." Magneto said, now looking a bit worried.   
  
"Kitty goes free." Lance said.   
  
Magneto rolled his eyes, "We know that, anything else?" Lance thought for a moment as Toad danced around pointing to himself. "A…and the crew is not to be harmed." Lance stated.   
  
Magneto smiled, "Agreed."   
  
XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX   
  
Boom Boom pushed Kitty onto the plank that was set over the side of the ship. "Go on!" Tabby yelled, "Walk the plank!"   
  
Kitty nervously walked forward, trying not to look down at the water.   
  
"Magneto, you lying hood!" Lance yelled from where he was being held by one of the pirates. "You swore she'd go free!"   
  
Magneto turned to face Lance and laughed, "I agreed she'd go free, it was you who failed to state when and where." He smiled and turned back to Kitty. "Though, it is a shame to lose something so fine."   
  
Kitty gave him a confused look. "So, we'll be taking that dress back." Magneto laughed.   
  
The crew laughed as Kitty scowled, took the dress off, and threw it at Magneto. "It'll look better on you anyway." She yelled.   
  
"Off you go, lass! Come on!" Legion called.   
  
Kitty started walking slowly across the plank again. "Too long!" Sabretooth yelled. He walked forward and stomped on the plank, causing it to shake and knock Kitty off.   
  
Kitty screamed as she fell into the water.   
  
Back on the ship the pirates pushed Toad onto the plank. "I'd really hoped we were past this, yo?" Toad pleaded.   
  
"Toad, didn't you notice?" Magneto laughed, "That's the same little island we made you Governor of on our last trip."   
  
Toad looked over his shoulder at the minute island, "Yeah, I'd noticed, yo?"   
  
Magneto smiled, "I doubt you'll escape again. Off you go."   
  
Toad put his hands up, "Last time you left me a pistol with one shot."   
  
Magneto sighed, "Alright, where's Toad's pistol?" One of the pirates held it up. "Bring it here." Magneto exclaimed.   
  
Toad looked at the pistol, then at Kitty swimming in the water below him. "Seeing as there's two of us, I thought maybe you'd give me a pair of pistols, yo?"   
  
"One pistol," Magneto said, "Shoot the girl, starve yourself." With that he threw the pistol into the water and Toad jumped in after it. Magneto and the crew laughed while Lance looked on wondering what was going to happen to Kitty.  
  
********************************************************************************  
  
Cast:  
  
Elizabeth Swann ~ Katherine "Kitty" Pryde  
  
Will Turner ~ Lance Alvers  
  
Captain Jack Sparrow ~ Todd "Toad" Tolensky  
  
Pintel ~ Remy "Gambit" Lebeau  
  
Ragetti ~ St. John "Pyro" Allerdyce  
  
Grapple ~ David "Legion" Haller (Xavier's Son)  
  
Jacoby ~ Tabitha "Boom Boom" Smith  
  
Bo'sun ~ Victor "Sabretooth" Creed  
  
Barbossa ~ Eric "Magneto" Lensherr  
  
Bootstrap Bill ~ Dominic "Avalanche" Alvers  
  
Next Chapter: Power8 Is Not The Answer 


	20. Power8 Is Not The Answer

Mutants of the Caribbean  
  
Scene Nineteen: Power8 Is Not The Answer  
  
"That's the second time I've had to watch them sail off with my ship." Toad complained as he watched the Black Pearl from the tiny islands beach.  
  
"But you were, like, marooned here before." Kitty sighed as she watched the great Captain Toad Tolensky slump down into a crouching position. "Like, we can escape the way you did then." She suggested.  
  
"Escape and do what?" Toad growled despairingly. "The Black Pearls gone and Lance with it, yo?"  
  
"But your, like, Captain Toad Tolensky. You vanished right in front of, like, seven S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. You, like, sacked Nassau Port without firing a single shot. Are you the pirate I've read about or not? Like, how did you escape last time?" Kitty asked getting into Toad's face.  
  
Toad glared at her for a second. "Last time. . ." He sighed looking away from Kitty. "I was here for three days, yo? Last time. . ." Toad stood up and started wandering around knocking on tree trunks until he found a hallow one. "Power8 was using this island for storage." He took one leap away from it and when he landed it made a thud sound. "They came by and I managed to sneak onto their ship." With a slight flourish Toad revealed a wooden trap door that had many kegs of Power8 beneath it. He held a keg up for Kitty to see, she curled her lips in disgust at it, but Toad didn't seem to notice. "As you can see they haven't come back since Commodore Colossus placed a ban on the junk."   
  
"Like that's it," Kitty asked angrily, "that's the secret adventure of the Infamous Toad Tolensky? You spent, like, three days lying on a beach, drinking Power8?"  
  
"Welcome to the Caribbean, valley." Toad stated as he tucked the keg of Power8 under his arm.  
  
Kitty pouted for a second then an idea crossed through her head and a devious smirk crossed her face. Power8 could get mutants wasted faster than any alcohol known to man, so all she had to do was let Toad drink and then. . .  
  
"We're devil, black sheep, really bad eggs, drink up, my brothers, yo ho. Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me." Toad and Kitty sang as they gallivanted around the big bonfire they'd started. Finally Toad flopped down in the sand followed quickly by Kitty.   
  
"I love this song, yo? Really bad eggs! Woot." Toad hollered, "When I get the Black Pearl back, I'm gonna teach it to the whole crew!" He through his arms back and almost tipped over.  
  
"You'll be, like, totally the most fearsome pirate in the Spanish Main." Kitty crowed.   
  
"Not just the Spanish Main, valley, the entire ocean, the entire world, yo?" Toad told her excitedly as the bonfire's reflection danced in his golden eyes Then he sobered for a moment losing some of the fire, but adding to the intensity. "Cause that's what the Black Pearl really is. . . is freedom."  
  
Kitty looked at him piteously and said in a sad soft tone. "It must be, like, terrible for you to be trapped on this island, Toad."  
  
Toad picked up a bottle of Power8 "Yeah, but the company is way better since last time, yo?" He commented, falling back into his drunken stupor.   
  
"Like, to freedom." Kitty cheered taking up a bottle of her own.  
  
"To the Black Pearl." Toad added before taking a swig and falling over unconscious. Kitty smiled as she through her bottle into the bonfire causing a small explosion. She smiled again and set to work on turning the entire island into one big bonfire in hopes of catching the X-Men search party's attention.   
  
Toad awoke in the morning to find the entire island either on fire or already burned. "No! Not good! Stop! Not good! What are you doin', yo?" He gasped, "You're worst than Pyro! You burned everything! The food, the shade, at least Pyro would have left the Power8, yo?" Toad whined.  
  
"Yes, like, the Power8 is gone." Kitty informed him smugly.  
  
"Why is the Power8 gone?" Toad asked pleadingly.   
  
"It's, like, totally icksome and it makes a good signal fire. Like, the X-men are looking for me, you know." Kitty explained happily even though she could tell Toad's moral was deteriorating more and more by the second.  
  
"But why is the Power8 gone?" Toad asked again as if he hadn't heard.  
  
"Like, chill," Kitty sighed, "the X-men will be here soon."  
  
Toad pulled out his gun and aimed it at Kitty's head. Then on a second thought he pointed it at his own, then back at Kitty. Finally he got frustrated by his own indecision and holstered the gun again. "It must be, like, terrible for you to be trapped on this island, Toad." Toad muttered mockingly to himself as he stormed away from Kitty. "It, like totally, must be, like, terrible for you to, like, like, like, like, like! Like, it is now, valley!" He yelled back at her before leaping over a sand dune. On the other side he could see the H.M.S. Dauntless anchored with a life boat full of X-Men headed to there island. Toad smacked himself in the face and muttered, "There will be no living with her after this."   
  
********************************************************************************  
  
Cast:  
  
Elizabeth Swann ~ Katherine "Kitty" Pryde  
  
Captain Jack Sparrow ~ Todd "Toad" Tolensky  
  
Next Chapter: Unhappy Captains 


	21. Unhappy Captains

Mutants of the Caribbean  
  
Scene Twenty: Unhappy Captains   
  
The crew of the Dauntless readied the ship to set sail. Kitty looked around angrily at the crew and ran to her father and the Commodore.   
  
"Like, we have to save Lance!" She yelled.   
  
Xavier shook his head and put his arm around his daughter, "No, your safe now, that's all that matters."   
  
Kitty stared at her father, shocked, "He'll, like, die!"   
  
"The boy's fate is regrettable, but it was his choice to aid in piracy." Xavier said, shaking his head.   
  
"He did it to, like, save me!" Kitty yelled.   
  
Xavier and Piotr stared at Kitty at a loss for words.   
  
"The Black Pearl was damaged," Toad said, stepping into the conversation, "Just think Commodore, you could catch the last of the real pirate ships."   
  
"My wounded pride shall not drive me to madness!" Piotr growled.   
  
Kitty suddenly had a brilliant idea, "Like, please Piotr," She pleaded, "Do it for me…as a wedding gift."   
  
Piotr stared at Kitty in a mix of awe and shock.   
  
"Katherine," Xavier said, smiling, "Are you accepting the Commodore's proposal?"   
  
Kitty swallowed hard and nodded, "I am."   
  
Piotr smiled and Toad clapped his hands, happily.   
  
"I love weddings, Power8 all around!" He smiled.   
  
Piotr glared at Toad.   
  
"…the brig, yo?" Toad said sheepishly, holding his arms out.   
  
Piotr looked at Toad, looking like he was more than willing to clasp irons on his slimy wrists, but he realized how valuable Toad could be.   
  
"Mr. Tolensky, you shall provide us with the bearings to the Isla de Muerta, then spend the rest of this voyage thinking of all the possible meanings of the phrase, 'Silent as the grave'." Piotr paused, "Have I made myself clear?"   
  
"Crystal, yo." Toad nodded.   
  
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Logan, Lance, and Toad's crew of pirates watched Remy and Pyro mopping the floor of the brig.   
  
"Shiver me timbers." Lockheed squawked.   
  
"Sparky says you missed a spot, bub." Logan translated.   
  
Remy growled and flicked dirty mop water all over the prisoners.   
  
"Did you know my father?" Lance asked.   
  
"Dey Avalanche," Remy nodded, "We knew him. Avalanche didn't think it was right what we did to dey Toad. He say it went against dey code, liked chivalry to much to be a good pirate, better off a knight or somethin'. So, when we found out about dey curse Avalanche say we deserve it and sends his share of dey gold to yo."   
  
"Well I say to blazes with the stupid blighter!" Pyro growled.   
  
"Good mutant!" Logan growled back.   
  
Remy shook his head and went on, turning back to Lance, "Mon Capitaine, weren't too happy about dat."   
  
"Tell him' bout what Magneto did, mate!" Pyro said, excitedly.   
  
"I'm gettin' dere, mon ami," Remy said, a bit annoyed, "Mon Capitaine decided Avalanche needed to be grounded. But dere weren't no ground around, 'sides at dey bottom of dey ocean." Remy grinned at Lance maliciously, "Dey last we saw of ol' Avalanche he was headed to dey crushing bottom."   
  
Pyro nodded, "Then we realized we needed his blood to break the curse and that's where you come in."   
  
The two nodded and Lance looked at them skeptically.   
  
The silence was broken by Magneto walking in.   
  
"Bring him!" He ordered.   
  
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The crew of the Dauntless sat on the ship right off the coast of the Isla de Muerta, waiting for their next orders.   
  
"Any attempt to storm the cave could turn into an ambush." Piotr said, half to himself and half to the others.   
  
"Not if you ambush them, yo?" Toad added.   
  
Piotr gave him a look that told Toad he was interested.   
  
"I go in there and get them to come out here in their little boats. Then you take your little cannons and blast 'em right outta their little boats!" Toad said, miming an explosion, "What have you got to lose, yo?"   
  
"Besides the pain in my neck?" Piotr sighed.   
  
"There's still a chance those aboard the Dauntless may be in danger, like Valley." Toad added.   
  
Piotr nodded and sent Scott to find Kitty as he and his crew headed for the row boats.   
  
Scott found Kitty and pushed her into the captain's quarters.   
  
"I'm sorry, but it is for your own safety." He said, trying to keep her from phasing out of his grip.   
  
"Will you, like, listen to me?!" Kitty screamed, "The pirates can't be, like, killed!"   
  
Scott smirked, "Don't worry, a little dragon already flew by and told him." With that he slammed the door in Kitty's face.   
  
"This is, like, totally Toad Tolensky's fault!" She screamed. 


	22. A Big Shiny Helmet

Mutants of the Caribbean  
  
Scene Twenty-one: A Big Shiny Helmet  
  
Lance was lead slowly through the tunnels by Remy as the other pirates rushed ahead. He could help feeling that he'd failed Kitty. Right now she was off on some desert island with Toad and her only options seemed to be starved or, if Toad was courteous enough, shot. "Don' worry, mon ami, it's just a lil' blood." Remy tried to condole the very depressed youth.  
  
Alex turned back after hearing what remy had said, "Sorry, dude, but your only half-Alvers. We have to spill it all." The blond pirate stated with a shrug.  
  
"Guess dere be somethin' to worry 'bout after all." Remy muttered to Pyro as Magneto took Lance and half-dragged him up to the treasure chest where all the other gold medallions were stored. In truth Lance was worried, very worried, but not about his own safety.  
  
Mean while Toad had finally gotten Colossus to let him have a little chat with his old crew. He rowed one of the Dauntless's lifeboats out to the cavern and followed the other pirates into the treasure room. He arrived just in time to catch the end of Magneto's little speech, which was lucky for him since the others were all to wrapped up in their Captain's words to realize it was Toad pushing his way through the crowd. "Outta my way, yo?" He grunted slipping past Sabretooth.   
  
"Begun by blood. . ." Magneto purred lowering his blade to Lance's throat.  
  
"Move." Toad yelled angrily at the tightly knit group in front of him. Getting no response from the entranced mutants Toad sighed in defeat and merely leapt over their heads landing right in front of Magneto and Lance.   
  
". . .by blood un-" Magneto stopped and removed his blade from Lance's neck taking a step back in shock.  
  
"Toad!" Lance gasped as he looked up at him in disbelief.  
  
"Impossible." Magneto sputtered as all the other pirates simply continued to stare.  
  
"Nothin's impossible, yo?" Toad quipped with a confident grin.  
  
"Where's Kitty?" Lance asked wide-eyed with worry.  
  
"She's safe, as I promised." Toad explained causing Lance to sigh in relief. "She's gonna marry the Commodore, like, she promised. And your going to die for her, as you promised. So, were all mutants of our words, yo?" As Toad had continued with his explanation Lance's mood dropped with each added detail.   
  
Magneto had recovered from his sense of awe at Toad's not being dead and was now simply annoyed by his antics yet again. "That's it! Your next in line to have his blood drained, Toad." Magneto growled angrily as he placed his blade to Lance's throat again.  
  
"I wouldn't do that, yo?" Toad asserted cunningly just as Magneto was about to spill Lance's blood.  
  
Magneto looked up at Toad who continued to grin stupidly at him "That's partially why I want you dead." Was all he said before turning his attention back to Lance's throat.   
  
"Your funeral." Toad quipped annoyingly.  
  
Magneto sighed as he removed his blade from Lance's throat once more. "Why wouldn't you do it?" He asked in a lackluster tone.  
  
"The Dauntless, with all it's little cannons, is waiting for you right outside, yo?" Toad informed his old first mate with a sly grin.  
  
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However, unknown to Toad the Commodore had decided to modify the plan after sending Toad off to what he figured was his merry doom. Instead of blating the pirates with cannons he'd set up half his crew in lifeboats in hopes of catching the pirate in a crossfire as they exited the cavern. So far all he'd accomplished was confusing a few of his X-Men.   
  
"Vhat are ve doing here?" Kurt asked Evan with a look of confusion.   
  
Evan sighed, "Man, weren't you listening? We're gonna catch the pirates by surprise in a crossfire."  
  
"I know vhy ve're here." Kurt stated indignantly. "Vhat I mean ees vhy arn't ve using za cannons like Tolensky said?"   
  
"Because it was Mr. Tolensky that said it." A very grim Commodore Colossus muttered from where he sat in the bow putting an end to the two X-Mens' conversation.  
  
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"All you have to do is send your crew out in there little boats, they do what they do best." Toad continued, "Bada bing bada boom, now you've got two ships. Of course you'll take the Dauntless as your flagship, but what about the Pearl?" Toad asked rhetorically, "Make me Captain of the Pearl, yo? I'll give you ten percent of the loot and you can introduce yourself as Commodore Magneto."   
  
Magneto looked at Toad suspiciously while he considered the offer. "I suppose you don't want me to kill the fool." He grumbled.  
  
Toad looked down at Lance as if he were in the way. "Go ahead, kill him, but not yet." He warned as he picked up a handful of medallions and dropped them one by one back into the chest for effect. "Wait for the right moment, after you've killed the X-men. . . every. . . last. . . one."   
  
Lance stared at Toad crossly, as he watched him drop the gold pieces in the chest. Lance realized something though Toad had picked up four of the medallions, he'd only put three back. Lance looked over at Magneto, the older mutant seemed to have missed this vital detail. Suddenly it all clicked together in Lance's head. "You've been planing this ever since you learned my name!" Lance yelled as he struggled to free himself if only to die trying to kill the now cursed and un-killable Captain Toad Tolensky.  
  
"Yeah." Toad admitted with a slight shrug showing he felt no remorse for condemning Lance and those aboard the Dauntless to death.   
  
"I want fifty percent." Magneto interrupted.  
  
"Fifteen." Toad shot back.  
  
"Forty." Magneto bargained.  
  
"Twenty-five and I'll buy you a helmet, a big shiny helmet, Commodore." Toad said with an unfortunate grin already knowing the deal was set.  
  
Magneto pondered the new offer for a second, but he couldn't resist the thought of a battle helmet. "Agreed."  
  
Toad clapped his hands together excitedly and turned back to the pirates that had been watching the whole scene with growing anticipation for blood shed. "To the boats!" Toad shouted receiving only blank stares in return Toad reminded himself sadly that they weren't his crew anymore. "Right, sorry, yo? You give the orders." He muttered solemnly to Magneto.  
  
"Brothers!" Magneto called out, "Take a walk." He ordered before turning back to a very perplexed Toad.   
  
"Not to the boats?" Toad asked. Magneto simply smiled at him. Toad cast an uneasy glance at Lance who was still glaring at him with all the hatred he could muster. Suddenly Toad was no longer absolutely certain of his plans success.   
  
Cast:  
  
Elizabeth Swann Katherine "Kitty" Pryde  
  
Will Turner Lance Alvers  
  
Commodore Norrington Piotr "Colossus" Rasputin  
  
Captain Jack Sparrow Todd "Toad" Tolensky  
  
Murtogg Kurt Wagner   
  
Mullroy Evan Daniels   
  
Pintel Remy Lebeau  
  
Ragetti St. John Allerdyce  
  
Twigg Alex Summers  
  
Bo'sun Victor Creed  
  
Barbossa Eric Magnus Lensherr  
  
Next Chapter: Bloody Pirates  
  
Reviewer Response: Nite Sky asked why the Power8 didn't kill Todd and Kitty. Let me start by saying we are aware of Power8 toxicity. Obviously we just toned down the effects for the sake of our parody.   
  
Actually we were using Power8/Rum parodies before we started this fic. Perhaps you've heard of PowerAid? It's a sports drink that they're selling all over around here, including at our schools. Well anyway the first time Half-N-Half, HomeGrown, and I found a vending machine full of the stuff we just had to buy a couple bottles to play around with. Of course we started with the typical 'Don't do it! Power8's (suicide's) not the answer!' as we pretended to choke and die as typical of the OC no one really noticed or cared. Feeling our efforts were unappreciated by the general public we decided to fall back on the next best thing and start singing "Yo Ho Yo Ho a brothers life for me!" in mock drunkenness while swinging around our clearly non-alcoholic beverages of course yet again none of the locals out at the time batted an eyelash.   
  
So, when it came to the part about Rum, although Rum is very amusing, especially in candy form. We simply had to use Power8 for it is truly a vile drink and of course Colossus would ban it from his ports. Probably one of the smartest things he does in the entire fanfic.   
  
Yes, and let me warn you all that even though you may think it good and helpful to warn your fellow classmates about the dangers of drinking power8 teachers tend to frown upon it when you yell at the would be drinker that "POWER8 IS NOT THE ANSWER!" That and usually you'll get quite a few odd looks from your fellow students. 


	23. Bloody Pirates

Mutants of the Caribbean  
  
Scene Twenty-two: Bloody Pirates  
  
Commodore Colossus stood in the bow of one of the Dauntless's rowboats waiting to give the order to open up a cross fire at the first sign of the pirates. Soon a single pirate rowboat glided into view.   
  
The X-men took aim, but something wasn't right. "Hold fire." Colossus called to his tense crew as he realized that the two people in the boat were women, perplexed he let them row past.   
  
The two "women" in the row boat sniggered in a very manly way. Below them on the ocean floor the pirates were walking out to the Dauntless; beneath the dark water no one was the wiser.  
  
"Just like what the Greeks did at Troy, mate." Pyro whispered, hiding behind his parasol, "cept they used a wooden horse instead of dresses. Too bad, we could of burned the wooden horse." He fingered the pretty yellow fabric of his dress, "Do you think we could burn the dresses later?"   
  
Remy shrugged slightly as he continued to row the boat   
  
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On the Dauntless, Xavier was standing outside of his quarters, where Kitty was locked inside. "Katherine, I just wanted you to know I'm proud of the decision you made earlier." He said to his daughter through the door, "But even a good decision, if made for the wrong reasons, can be the wrong decision."   
  
On the other side of the ship Roberto, had just spotted the rowboat, "Lieutenant?" he called to Scott, who pulled out a telescope to get a closer look.   
  
In the row boat Pyro laughed as he looked over at Roberto and Scott, "Yoo-hoo!" He waved, girlishly. Unknown to the X-Men the real danger was just now climbing up the anchor chains. They boarded silently, the crew was still watching the two mysterious "women" in the boat, Sabretooth crept up behind one of the X-Men and snapped his neck. No one heard him slump to the floor as the pirates quickly killed several more sailors, careful not to draw attention.   
  
Back at the captain's quarters Xavier started wondering why Kitty wasn't answering him. "Katherine?" He knocked on the door, "Are you listening?" He unlocked the door, went inside and found it empty. "Oh, Kitty, what have you done?" He sighed when he found an open window and a missing rowboat.   
  
"Ooh," Pyro laughed as he rocked the row boat and waved at the Dauntless's crew.  
  
"Remy don' like dis." Remy muttered.   
  
"You look good in a dress, mate." Pyro smiled.   
  
"Remy look what?!" Remy growled, before smacking Pyro with one of the oars. Unfortunately for them this revealed the fact that they were both men, and pirates for that matter to the Dauntless's crew.   
  
Realizing they'd been discovered Remy whipped out a card charged it and chucked it at Lieutenant Scott's head. Lucky for the young Lieutenant the Cajun's aim had been slightly off and he only succeeded in blasting off his hat, but the force of the explosion caused him to stumble backwards right into a pirate that had been preparing to slit his throat.  
  
The remaining X-Men immediately activated their powers as did the pirates. They set to fighting, but it soon became apparent that this was a battle the X-Men couldn't win. Even still they intended to hold off their inevitable defeat as long as possible.   
  
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Back in the caves Magneto leaned against the chest of gold medallions looking at Toad skeptically. "I must admit, Toad, I thought I had you all figured out, but once again you've surprised me." Magneto stated.   
  
"Me?" Toad laughed, "I'm a liar, you can always trust a liar to lie, yo? It's the honest ones you gotta watch, cause you never know when they're gonna do something," Toad turned and looked at Lance, "Stupid." With that he drew his sword and faced Magneto.   
  
"You're on the edge of the map Toad!" Magneto yelled, drawing his own sword, "Here there be monsters." With that Magneto walked into a strip of moonlight that was shining through an opening in the cave and turned to his skeleton form.   
  
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On the Black Pearl Legion sat guarding the prisoners with a table full of food in front of him and had a glowing look on his face like a kid at Christmas. "What should we eat first?" He asked himself, looking over all of the wonderful delicacies in front of him.   
  
Kitty climbed up the anchor and onto the ship where she found Pietro. He smiled at her, took a deep breath, and was about to call to the other pirates, but Kitty acted quickly. She picked up a wooden board that was lying on the deck and smacked Pietro across the face, knocking him into the water.   
  
"What was that?" Legion asked, looking out the port hole to see Pietro fall into the water. Remembering Pietro had last been up on deck Legion ran up the stairs to see if what had caused him to fall.  
  
Kitty phased through the ceiling and landed right in front of the brig where Jack's crew was being held.   
  
"Half-Pint." Logan started before Kitty motioned for them to be silent as she phased them out of the brig.   
  
Meanwhile, Commodore Colossus was still waiting for the pirates to come out of the cave in rowboats. Suddenly the far off sound of the Dauntless's alert bell began to ring rousing all the mutants attention. Then as suddenly as it began it ended as if the source had been cut off mid swing, but the message remained and from where they sat the X-Men could see a power war was being waged. "Back to the ship!" Colossus yelled.  
  
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"You can't beat me Toad." Magneto yelled, as he and Toad continued their sword fight.   
  
Toad leapt away from Magneto's blade and into the moonlight at which point he also turned skeletal, "Cool." He laughed, tossing a gold medallion into the air and catching it, "Couldn't resist, yo?" He said, responding to Lance and Magneto's confused looks.   
  
"What now Toad?" Magneto asked, also in is skeleton form, "Shall we be two immortals locked in battle until the end of the world?"   
  
Toad shrugged, "You could surrender." he suggested.   
  
XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX   
  
Kitty led Toad's crew to one of the Black Pearl's rowboats. "Come on, like, Lance is in that cave!" She pulled the rope but the boat just tipped over. She looked behind her to see why no one was helping. "Like, heave already!"   
  
"Any port in the storm." Lockheed squawked from Berzerker's shoulder.   
  
"Sparky's right, Half-Pint." Logan said.   
  
"What about Toad, like, you can't just leave him!" Kitty yelled.   
  
"Toad owes us a ship." Mystique pointed out.   
  
"And he told us to stick to the code." Logan added.   
  
"Like, to blazes with the code, your pirates!" Kitty screamed. The crew just stared at her.   
  
"Bloody pirates." Kitty growled as she rowed to the caves by herself.   
  
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Pyro and Remy had finally joined their fellow pirates in the fight on the Dauntless. Pyro smiled after he had managed to force an X-Man overboard by creating a large stream of fire with his zippo lighter. Remy just glared at him. He was still angry about the dress comment Pyro had made earlier. Suddenly Pyro's eyes widened and he pointed at the Black Pearl. "Crinkey!"   
  
"What?" Remy asked, turning to look at what Pyro was pointing at.   
  
"Is it supposed to do that?" Pyro asked as the Black Pearl set sail.   
  
"Dey be stealin' our ship!" Remy yelled.   
  
"Bloody Pirates!" Pyro screamed.  
  
Remy rolled his crimson eyes and smacked Pyro upside the head. Sadly this caused Pyro to drop his precious lighter. "ZIPPO!" Pyro screamed as it slid across the deck.  
  
The Cast:  
  
Elizabeth Swann Katherine "Kitty" Pryde  
  
Joshamee Gibbs Logan  
  
Commodore Norrington Piotr "Colossus" Rasputin  
  
Governor Weatherby Swann Charles Xavier   
  
Will Turner Lance Alvers  
  
Captain Jack Sparrow Todd "Toad" Tolensky  
  
Lt. Gillette Scott Summers  
  
Pintel Remy Lebeau  
  
Ragetti St. John "Pyro" Allerdyce  
  
Grapple David "Legion" Haller   
  
Bo'sun Victor Creed  
  
Barbossa Eric Magnus Lensherr  
  
Sailor Roberto daCosta   
  
Mr. Cotton Ray "Berzerker" Crisp   
  
Parrot Lockheed  
  
Anamaria Mystique   
  
Jack (the monkey) Pietro Maximoff  
  
Next Chapter: The Really Really Long Climax 


	24. The Really Really Long Climax

Mutants of the Caribbean  
  
Scene Twenty-three: The Really Really Long Climax  
  
Kitty snuck into the depths of the cave, wielding armed with nothing, but an oar, until she reached the treasure chamber. The first thing she noticed was that Toad and Magneto were fighting. Then she saw Lance was tied up and being watched over by one of the pirates. Kitty charged the pirate girl swinging her oar madly over her head.  
  
"I'm gonna teach you the meaning of pain!" Tabby shouted as she chucked one of here time bombs at Kitty.  
  
Kitty phased just as the bomb would have hit her and instead it splashed into the water harmlessly. "Like, try wearing a corset." Kitty quipped as she smacked Tabby with her oar sending the pirate toppling down. Kitty bent over to untie Lance. "Whose side is Toad on?" She asked as she watched the two skeletal Captains clash swords.  
  
"At the moment?" Lance asked as Kitty undid the last of his restraints.  
  
Tabby had gotten back up and was now chucking as many of here tiny time bombs as she could. Lance and Kitty managed to dodge most of the and even the ones that hit really didn't do to much damage. Frustrated Tabby ran up one of the treasure mounds to get out of their reach while she made one relatively large bomb.   
  
Lance realized what she was up to and ran up after her. The skeletal pirate just laughed at him as she handed the bomb to him just as it was about to go off, but Lance had been expecting this and already had a plan. He shoved the time bomb into her rib cage then pushed her out of the moonlight.   
  
As her flesh returned she soon realized she couldn't get the time bomb out of her chest. "No fair." was all she got out before the bomb blew her to pieces.  
  
The explosion drew Magneto and Toad's attention away from their sword fight for a moment. Toad saw that Lance was somehow free and standing right next to the treasure chest. Without hesitation Toad jumped out of the moonlight and cut through some of the webbing on his hand while holding the medallion he'd stolen and threw it to Lance.   
  
In response Magneto drew his gun and pointed it at Kitty. The shot rang through the entire cave. Magneto turned angrily back toward Toad, who was holding his own still smoking pistol. "Ten years of carrying that pistol and now you waste your shot?" Magneto growled quite annoyed by the bullet hole and gun powder residue that now marred his coat.  
  
"He didn't waste it." Lance declared as he cut his own hand and droped both his and Toad's medallions into the chest.  
  
Magneto looked stricken he slowly parted his coat to reveal warm flowing blood pooring from the bullet wound in his chest. "I feel. . . cold." His tone was mute and his face was expressionless and then he fell back onto the mound of gold, dead.  
  
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Commodore Colossus had been fighting long and hard to keep his crew alive. In his armored form the pirates couldn't do much to hurt him, but then again he had not yet been able to hurt a pirate. So, he was just as surprised as the pirates when he hit Mastermind and he stayed down a small puddle of blood began to form around him.  
  
For a moment everyone just starred, then both sides seemed to realize that the tides had turned. Except for Pyro who chose this point in time to spring up from where he'd been crawling along the deck. He wore a wide grin on his face having finally found his Zippo. His grin faded though as he realized no one was fighting anymore and that was usually a bad sign.  
  
"Parley?" Remy asked pathetically as he put his hands up in a sign of surrender, the other pirates soon followed suite.  
  
"The ship is ours, comrades." Colossus announced proudly.   
  
Xavier and the rest of the X-Men started cheering "Woot! Woot!" as they led the pirates down to the brig.  
  
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Lance and Kitty stood looking deeply into each other's eyes for a second they moved closer together, but then a loud crash behind them caused them to pull a part and see what could be making all the racket. Perhaps the other pirates were returning, but no it was just Toad picking up random pieces of treasure examining them and then tossing them aside.   
  
"We should, like, return to the Dauntless." Kitty sighed.  
  
"Piotr will be worried about you." Lance whispered sadly.  
  
Kitty seemed to be on the verge of tears, she ran off to wait in the rowboat.   
  
Toad, now sporting large golden crown, plodded up to Lance. "That was the right moment." He pointed out before leaping after Kitty. "Now, back to the Pearl!" He shouted happily.  
  
But the Pearl was long gone and the only ship within miles was Commodore Colossus's Dauntless.  
  
"I'm, like, sorry, Toad." Kitty said trying to be as comforting as possible.  
  
"Pirates code." Toad mumbled more to himself than to Kitty as Lance continued to row him closer and closer to the gallows.  
  
Cast:  
  
Elizabeth Swann Katherine "Kitty" Pryde   
  
Commodore Norrington Piotr "Colossus" Rasputin  
  
Governor Weatherby Swann Charles Xavier   
  
Will Turner Lance Alvers  
  
Captain Jack Sparrow Todd "Toad" Tolensky  
  
Pintel Remy Lebeau  
  
Ragetti St. John Allerdyce  
  
Jacoby Tabitha "Boom Boom" Smith  
  
Koehler Jason "Mastermind" Wyngarde   
  
Barbossa Eric "Magneto" Lensherr  
  
Next Chapter: And Really Bad Ends  
  
We spilt blood this chapter, so I'm uping the rating to PG and then the next chapter is Captain Toad's hanging. Maybe I should just up it to PG 13.  
  
And as far as which X-Men were killed on the Dauntless, I left them nameless so you can just insert your least favorite. I don't think there are any real Mastermind fans out there, but I'm sorry if your now depressed because we killed him, but he's Koehler and Koehler dies. Same goes for Tabby fans, I like Tabby alright, but we needed someone who had bombs and well 'Bomb Flinging Maniac' kinda fits her bill. I'm not all that sorry about killing Magneto, he kinda had to die, yup.   
  
And on a side note I do intend to continue on with Second Time Round, I'm just swamped with junk right now. The only reason I can keep up with these chapters is cause there's two people working on them and I already have it written up in script format, we just adjust it into story format so you don't have to sit there and watch the movie while reading our script.   
  
Last but not least, "I will bring you hope." This story has two more chapters, shh you're not really supposed to know about the last one. coughafter the creditscoughPietrocoughcough And even then there's a good chance that in time there will be a sequel to Pirates of the Caribbean and with it a sequel to this story!   
  
ProFool 


	25. And Really Bad Ends

Mutants of the Caribbean  
  
Scene Twenty-four: And Really Bad Ends  
  
The morning sun shone down on a large crowd of people gathered around to watch the hanging of Captain Toad Tolensky. Bobby stood on the hanging platform reading Toad's conviction.  
  
"Toad Tolensky," he read, "Let it me know that…"  
  
"Captain," Toad mumbled, "Captain Toad Tolensky."  
  
"…Said crimes being numerous in quantity and numerous in nature." Bobby continued reading, "The most grievous being: piracy, theft…"  
  
Kitty shook her head from where she stood in the shade with her Xavier and Colossus.  
  
"This is, like, so totally wrong." She sighed.  
  
"No one is above the law, Kitty." Xavier explained, putting his hand on his daughter's shoulder.  
  
"…impersonating an X-Man," Bobby continued, "Using frogs in an act of terrorism…"  
  
Toad laughed, "I'd almost forgotten about that."  
  
"…kidnaping, ravaging cities, extortion, embezzlement, high-jacking and suicide." Bobby paused for a moment perplexed, then he shook his head and read on, "For these crimes you have been sentenced on this day, to be hung by the neck until you are dead."  
  
As Bobby finished reading Lance, who was now in his battle uniform, made his way through the crowd towards where Kitty stood.  
  
"Professor," he nodded to Xavier, "Commodore," he nodded to Colossus. "Kitty," He sighed, looking into the girl's eyes, "I should have told you every day from the moment I met you…I love you."  
  
Kitty and Lance just stood for a moment looking into each other's eyes, then Lance sadly turned and walked away.  
  
Kitty turned at the sound of flapping wings and looked up to see Lockheed perched above the gallows. Her eyes then fell on Lance, who was rushing through the crowd and realized what was going on.  
  
"Like, can't breath." Kitty gasped as she fell over.  
  
"Katherine!" Xavier yelled, panicked, as he and Colossus tried to help her.  
  
"Move!" Lance yelled, just as the executioner activated the trapdoor letting Toad fall. Lance threw his sword directly underneath where Toad had just fallen; giving Toad a place to stand and in effect saving his neck.  
  
Kitty sat up and watched as Toad tried to stay standing on the sword beneath him.  
  
Lance ran through the crowd, jumped up, and cut the rope from around Toad's neck. The two of them then rushed to escape. They made it to the edge of the square, which over looked the ocean, and turned to find that the X-Men had them surrounded.   
  
"I thought we might have to deal with another escape attempt, but not from you." Commodore Colossus exclaimed, looking at Lance.  
  
Xavier rushed through the group of soldiers.   
  
"I pardoned you from your crimes and this is how you repay me?" He asked, Lance, "He's a pirate!" Xavier spat motioning to Toad.  
  
Lance stepped in front of Toad, guarding him from the X-Men's guns.  
  
"Good Mutant." He defended, "Even if I die with him, at least my conscience will be clear."  
  
"You forget your place, comrade." Colossus scowled.   
  
"It's right here, between you and Toad." Lance growled.  
  
"Like, me too." Kitty said as she ran through the circle of X-Men and stood next to Lance.  
  
"Katherine!" Xavier called, "Lower you weapons!" he yelled at the X-Men.  
  
Colossus gave Kitty a hurt look, "This is where you heart truly lies?"  
  
Kitty nodded and took Lance's hand.  
  
"Actually, I'm feelin' pretty good about this." Toad said, getting in the Commodore's face, "I'm sorry, Valley," He said, turning to Kitty, "but it would have never worked out between you and me."  
  
Kitty gave him a confused look.  
  
"I would've wanted green sails, you would've, like, wanted pink. Lance," He said as he turned to Lance and admired his battle uniform, "...nice punch-bowl."  
  
Lance cocked his eye brow and as Toad walked slowly toward the cliff over looking the ocean.  
  
"This day shall always be remembered as the day you-" Toad was cut off as he fell over the side of the cliff and into the water.  
  
"Fool," Scott laughed, "He'll just end up back at the gallows." He turned to Colossus, "What do we do now, sir?"  
  
Colossus turned and looked at Xavier who smiled.  
  
"Perhaps when the right course of action demands piracy, piracy may be the right course?" Xavier suggested.  
  
Colossus nodded and turned to Lance, who was now holding both Kitty's hands and gazing into her eyes.  
  
"Mr. Alvers." He said sternly.  
  
Lance sighed and turned away from Kitty, "I take full responsibility for my actions."  
  
Colossus held out the sword he'd been given when he became a Commodore, "This is a beautiful sword, I would expect you to show the same devotion to everything in your life." He looked at Kitty, who was still holding Lance's hand, and smiled.  
  
"Thanks, I think." Lance said.  
  
Kitty giggled and pulled him over to the cliff wall.  
  
Scott turned to Colossus."Commodore, what about Tolensky?" He asked.  
  
"Good riddance." The Commodore laughed as he lead the X-Men away.  
  
"So, you've chosen this…blacksmith?" Xavier asked Kitty.  
  
Kitty smiled and took Lance's helmet (punch-bowl) off. "No, like, he's a pirate." She wrapped her arms around Lance's neck and kissed him.  
  
Xavier smiled, shook his head, and walked away.  
  
XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX  
  
Toad swam towards the Black Pearl where his crew threw a rope to him and helped him on board.  
  
"I told you to stick to the code." Toad said in his mock stern voice.  
  
Logan shrugged, "We tried, but Lockheed ate it."  
  
"Thanks, yo?' Toad smiled.  
  
"Captain Tolensky…the Pearl is yours." Mystique said as she put a coat around Toad's shoulders.  
  
Toad smiled, he pet the ship's helm affectionately. He stopped when he realized the crew was staring at him.  
  
"Well, what are you watin' for?" He growled, "Get yo work, bring me that horizon." After the crew set off to get to work Toad smirked, opened his compass and started humming. "…Really bad eggs, drink up me brothers yo ho." He snapped the compass shut and looked out at the horizon.  
  
The End.  
  
Trumpets and Fanfare! 


	26. Epilogue

Mutants of the Caribbean  
  
Epilogue:   
  
Wearily Pietro dragged himself out of the water onto the gold covered shore that made up the caves treasure chamber. Though the sparkling treasure trove was bathed in moonlight that trickled down through a hole in the caverns ceiling the young pirate remained fleshed. Every aspect of his former pride and elegance seemed to have been washed away. No longer did he fly lightly with an unmatched speed, now he traipsed sadly over to the fallen body of his father. The dark dried blood on his shirt was all Pietro had to see to tell what had happened. His Captain was dead, his crew mates were captured, and his father's killer had escaped with the Black Pearl. On that last thought a harsh reality settled upon him, everyone was gone, he was stranded on an island without food or water. He looked at his father in distress, soon he too would lie dead upon the gold they had spent most of their lives collecting. Pietro eyed his fathers pistol thoughtfully, he noted that there was blood on the gold all around it. They'd all spilt blood on gold before to break them of the curse. . . Pietro's eye's widened with a sudden realization, he turned his head slowly up to the chest where the cursed medallions were kept. A second later he was standing over the medallions Lance and Toad's blood was still visible mixed amongst the gold. Pietro smiled wickedly as he swiftly snatched one out of the chest. He continued to smile devilishly as the moonlight shown down on his now skeletal form. All of his pride and speed had returned to him, he didn't need to feel, he didn't need a crew, he didn't need to breath. He only desired one thing: Revenge. He tossed the medallion over his shoulder and before it landed back in it's chest Pietro was gone. 


End file.
